The Car park shag

Car-park shag
Listen.
From the car.
Ella's grace notes.
Ceasura's in the beating of your heart.

'There's a somebody I'm longing to see
I hope that he turns out to be
Someone to watch over me'

Anticipation.
Longing and the held breath
As his car turns in beside yours. Stops.
He leans across the passenger seat.
The slow smile. Heart stops.
Door opens and he invites you in.
First real date.
Butterflies, slivers of sun, blinding sense.
You schoolgirl.

Sitting next to him. Hand on your leg.
The warmth, the meaningful kiss.
Before he said you were just a car park shag.
How things seem to change.

You've been in control all day
And now you give all sense of self
to him.

Back at his place you go upstairs
And this is like your first time.
You know this is as real as it gets.
You're needed by another as much as you need.
No anxiety.

Sweet tenderness makes its long slow journey
To remembering and forgetting.
Stop at touch
Pass through open eyes
As you watch each other in the kiss
Speeding up.
The first bite
The first touch of his hard body along your whole self
The first impression that will never be rubbed out.
He coins you.
Bright and shining.
A vivid halfpenny.

Faster.
Thrown back, desperate longing prolonged
Oh its all inevitable.
How you both welcome it.
This is a coupling of equals.
This is how it should be.
Trust.
Lust gives birth to love.

And later in the pub more words are spoken.
Probing.
This is the real discovery of mind and mind.
This is dangerous.
This is something like committment.
Guarded still. Tentative.
Each tells a little life. Shares.

The looks are tender and the language
Of the body open.
Welcome.
No need for defences.
Sweep away the mines of me and mine.

And still the tension
Of desire.Deep current
Sweeping before it
The foreplay of pub talk.
Tugging, dragging, undertow.
No escape.

Lightning flashes eye to eye.
The leaning in to listen.
The smiles of understanding.
Unspoken metaphors for fuck me,
Rumble, thunderous, between you.
And ease you gently from earlier fullfillment
To renewed consent.

Leave.
Back in the car.
'We can't go back yet'
'No'

In the darkened lane he pulls over.
The lips touch.
The urgency begins to be expressed in
Action.

And as you calculate
Each other's needs
Realisation.
Naked amazement.
How well you've come to know
Each other's body.
Sinew.
Muscle.
Attitude.
Complexity.
A jigsaw delicately assembled.
Each hollow, plane and shadow
Suddenly recognised.

Energy rises
The pieces come together.
Lying across the hand-brake,
And his slick nakedness
You give in to everything.
'Deconnez-moi'. Just breathed
Between half-parted lips.

Whispering
Unheard by ear
but sensed by every particle of skin
He tells you what he'll do.

And you trust him.
Now you've done it.
Passed the point of no return.
You come and it's like nothing else.

He looks at you and smiles.
For the first time you see goodness.
Trust.
Care.

Oh yes that's it.
Not bad for a car park shag.

Bob Parsons, 14th February 2000