My Dinosaur Era Chapter 14
By beanzie
- 23 reads
twenty minutes on the train, sat in our silences, I closed my eyes for a while
could have easily fallen asleep, I could feel petula leaning against my shoulder
this must be what peace feels like
back in brighton, station is packed
football must be on, barriers funnel bodies to the platforms
we skirt the masses, take a street to the right, away from it all
are you terribly tired, she says
we are walking up a hill, I do feel terribly tired
I am terribly tired, I say
I thought you might be, she says
sorry, my fault for getting wrecked last night, I say
don’t be silly, you had bad news, you’re entitled to let loose, she says
I guess, perhaps I just need another coffee, I say
or a nap, she says
no, I want to spend the day with you, that’s what we were going to do, I say
we could have a nap together, she says
I haven’t napped with someone for ages, I say
since jane, she says
yes, since jane, I say
would it be upsetting to nap with me, do you think, she says
I think it would be far from upsetting, I say
as long as you’re sure, she says
shall we go to mine, I say
yes, your sofa is very nappable, she says
ok, cool, where do you live, I say
oh, up kinda hanover way, she says
right, so you are used to these hills, I say
yeah, yeah, I am
she trails off, the question about where she lived threw her
the first time I have noticed some discomfort
arrive at my place, I get the key in the door first time
did you tidy up for me, she says
no, ginny did, she’s like you in that respect, I say
oh, was she here last night then, she says
try to detect her tone, is she jealous, curious, confused
or I could just answer the question
yeah, until I fell asleep on the sofa, I say
I know it’s a small sample size but you do seem to do that a lot, she says
it’s a comfy sofa, very nappable as someone once said, I say
that it is, she says
I sit down at one end of the sofa, she hesitates
squeezes past the coffee table. sits down next to me
so how are we going to do this, I say
why don’t you get into your usual napping position and I’ll fit in, she says
I like that you are so practical, I say
am I, she says
yes, you just say it, like suggesting this in the first place, I say
I guess I say what I feel, it doesn't always work out well, she says
I lean back into the sofa, still sat upright, wiggle my back until it’s comfortable
petula shuffles up to me, leans her head against my chest
tucks her knees up, her long legs still poking over the edge
I put my arm over her head, across her shoulder
she pushes the side of her face deeper into my chest
it feels like she is inside me, looking around at the mess within
I close my eyes
are you comfy, she says
very, I say
me too, she says
I didn’t sleep, I imagined my heart in my chest, pounding in her ear
even though she was on the other side
I lay there, eyes closed, the blackness allowing in colours that spun around
now and then, my arm involuntarily pulled her a tiny bit closer
felt like she was truly asleep, her breathing non existent against me
after a while, I checked my phone, half an hour in this position
hoped it would never end, she stirred, looked up at me, a moment's confusion
tapped me gently on the chest
I’m hungry now, she said
me too, let’s go eat, I said
ok, you choose though, if you leave it to me, we’ll starve, she said
I fancied ramen, so we went to the ramen place, we had ramen
squeezed in on stools at one end of the bar, a couple of six foot people
giants shoving noodles into their faces above the throng
I’ve never been here before, she says
I’ve not been in ages, I just had a mad hankering, I say
I’m glad you did, she says
mm, it’s good, I say
I need to head off soon, I said I’d visit my mum and she goes to bed at like nine, she says
ok, cool, where does she live, I say
seaford, she says
oh dear, I say
it’s not that bad, she says
it is, I say
yeah, it is, I always feel the need to feebly defend it because of mum, she says
how did she end up in seaford, I say
she moved here ten years ago after dad died, she says
ah right, ok, I say
then I followed her down a few years later, was too far to travel to see her, she says
but you didn’t fancy seaford, I say
not really, brighton seemed so much more exciting, she says
it is, though sometimes I think it’s too exciting, maybe I want somewhere quieter, I say
like bilbao, she says
well, maybe but it's not that quiet, but it feels more chill than here, I say
do you think you’ll go there soon, she says
I’m not sure, you’re right, now is as good as time as any, I’ll have a think, I say
outside we walk back towards the station, it’s early evening,
brighton in transition from lunchtime outside drinks
to early evening drinks for people who actually work on a saturday
the football crowds have depleted, the occasional brighton shirt still around
looks like they won, buoyant men walk down the middle of a side road
reluctantly letting cars pass, lost in their fervour
we walk to the barriers, petula stops and turns to face me
I’ve had a lovely day, she says
I have too, I say
one more hug for the road, she says
definitely, I say
we move to each other, more mutual than before
she nestles her head into my shoulder
I grasp her back, strong shoulders, she smells incredible
do you do a lot of swimming, I say
I used to when I was younger, swam for the county, she says
you have swimmer’s shoulders, I say
yeah, they are kinda big, she says
like your big weird face, I say
yes, they are in proportion, she says
an announcement cuts through the air,
a train is coming, a train is going
I had better go,my train is in two minutes, I’ll see you soon, she says
yes, see you soon, I say
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