Crash

Cherry

By Bee

Thu, 27 Feb 2014
  • 5371 reads
21 comments
 

In the evening I witnessed the aftermath

of a crash on a busy road - a woman 

sat weeping, surrounded for protection by cars 

stopped to block the traffic. 

 

I went home with her in my head, heard the siren 

of an ambulance and felt glad 

she wasn't waiting, shocked cold 

in the rain and crying, her audience 

dispersed; relieved and a little thrilled, as much as concerned 

at a spot of drama.

 

I went to bed so late that I witnessed the dawn,

dreamt a fitful dream then woke and went to town. 

 

I thought of her 

sat at the edge of the road, alone, surrounded  -

bought some clothes I didn't absolutely need

and a book I couldn't afford -

and a holdall.

 

When I got home, I witnessed your face, incredulous 

that I had spent the cash we hadn't got to spare on crap 

we didn't need

or want, and instead of the apology you expected, 

you witnessed me 

 

throwing a finger in the air as I walked out the door,

knowing I'd be gone for good.

Certificate PG
Poem
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Bee

I wasn't expecting that ending. But I know the feel of buying things you don't want and need to make you feel better when there is something that upsets you that you can't do anything about. 

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Bee on

I know what you mean, Jean. Strange, isn't it? I suppose it's a diversion. 

Thank you. 

Bee

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

this is great Bee.

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks for reading it, insert, really pleased you liked it.

Bee

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks ?, for the lovely cherries. 

Bee

Submitted by dtwellstead on

4th stanza, 'and a book couldnt afford', is there supposed to be an 'I' in there? That last line is a killer, I see myself in it.

 

Submitted by Bee on

Oh, yes - thank you, dt. I kept changing bits and missed it.

Bee

Submitted by Bee on

Thank you, Paul.

Bee

Submitted by Starfish Girl on

The misfortune of others often makes us see what is wrong in our own lives.

Nicely done.

Lindy

Submitted by Bee on

Very true, Lindy. Thank you.

Bee

Submitted by RJF on

Well deserved cherries Bee, a powerful ending though sorry I missed the original last line ;o) 

Rx

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thank you R. Glad you liked the ending. I'm afraid the last line was probably the most interesting bit.

Bee

Submitted by VeraClark on

This is really satsifying, Bee, despite the crash. I loved the way you drew a lightness in her leaving, a recognition of priorities from the face in that crash. it doesn't necessarily link the two events obviously either, I got more of a sense of an ellipsis where one dot dot dots towards the other, quite uncertainly. World's apart came to mind. Please tell me what the original line was, won't sleep.

 

Submitted by Bee on

No, you are right, Vera. - there isn't a direct link. The last line came about as an accidental act of plagiarism and had to be removed, but Stan spotted it whilst I was in the process of editing it out. As you are curious... I hope you won't be too disappointed  - it's : 'Sent from AOL Mobile Mail'.

There - the best line of the poem?

 

 

Bee

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Let me add my name to all the congratulations, Bee. A truly clever poem. yes

Luigi

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thank you, Luigi. 

Bee

Submitted by VeraClark on

Bee, you beauty. wink

 

Submitted by Shannan on

One second, one moment, can triggered so many things never before expected or thought, but often inevitable... it's just the timing that decides when exactly the dance shall be danced... Hope you are well Bee, have a great weekend $

 

Submitted by Bee on

I found your comments really interesting, Shannan. It's what I was aiming for, and you put it so well. 

Thank you 

and have a great weekend yourself !

Bee

Submitted by Denzella on

Helllo Bee,

I've said before and I say again.  I love your poetry because it is so accessible yet  has  subtle ligtht and shade.and I liked the way a previous commentator Shannon described it with a phrase I wish I ha d written.

Anyway, I much enjoyed this.

Moya

 

Submitted by Bee on

Moya, so happy that you enjoyed. Thank you for your kind comments. I really feel encouraged by your words.

Bee