Sally O’ Malley had one silly folly that kept her from doing her job.
For years she had swooned and her heart had ballooned at the vision of Porcupine Bob.
His hair white and stubby, physique rather chubby, he wasn’t Prince Charming, it’s true.
But horses for courses – in Human Resources, they called him the Wizard of Woo.
I’ll regale you the tale. It is dark and oh, well, I may as well tell you it’s sad.
She wanted him badly, (well, border-line madly,) but Porcupine Bob was a lad.
She spent all her wage on defying her age and on clothes that were elegant Prada.
But immune to her charms, Bob fell into the arms of a postlady, fresh from Grenada.
On that fateful morning, as Sally sat fawning, a woman walked in with a box.
She was chubby and stubby and, let’s face it, grubby. Her name was Pandora del Fox.
“Pandora,” breathed Bob, with a flash of his fob, “We’re soul mates. Now, what do you think?
“Jutht thine on the line and you’ll thoon be mine,” Pandora replied with a wink.
Oh, Sally O’Malley, how long did you dally? How long did you long for that loser?
Did you die of despair with your beautiful hair spread out like a modern Medusa?
But Sally retorted, “I merely reported them both for indecent behaviour.
As they faced unemployment, I favoured enjoyment and married Horatio Saviour.”
“Who’s that?” we all said. “We haven’t yet read of Horatio. What is he like?”
“A diamond! A stoic! He’s dashing, heroic! He cycles to work on his bike!”
So don’t sit there lonely if your one and only prefers an enlarged senorita.
It might seem a bit random to purchase a tandem. But trust me and get a two-seater.