Poisoned Ivy

Poisoned Ivy
By: Cassie Williamson

A warm tear rolled down my cheek, leaving a trail of wetness behind it. I cried silently for a few moments before my shoulders involuntarily heaved, causing the buzz of the tattoo gun to pause.
"Are you alright? Do you need to take a break? I can give you a few minutes if you need it. Mike, the man who was tattooing me, asked me. His voice sounded concerned, so I did the best I could to reassure him. Taking advantage of being able to move my arms freely, without making Mike mess up, I dried my eyes and took a few deep breaths.
"No, I'm fine. It's just that, she was my best friend. You know? I said, choking back more tears.
"No, I don't know. If you think it'd help, you can tell me. Mike said, as he put his hand on my leg. "It'll help pass the time, too. Why don't you lie back down and tell me all about her?
I lay back on my stomach and propped my head up on my hands. As I heard the reassuring buzz of the tattoo machine, I felt somewhat calmer. I took another deep breath, and prepared to tell this man about my best friend in the whole world. "Her name was Ivy, and she was amazing. We started getting close in¦
* * *
Freshman year was a trying year for me. My parents were just getting divorced and my circle of friends was slowly disappearing before my eyes. People I used to call my friends were leaving me behind for their new boyfriends and girlfriends. I was bouncing in between groups of people and didn't really have a niche. It was one day early in the year when I was walking with my friend Andy, when his girlfriend came up and linked arms with him, leaving me a few steps behind them. I stopped and turned around to walk back to my locker; I sat down on the floor and leaned my back against the lockers. I looked up and across the hallway to see Ivy sitting in the same fashion against her locker. She shot me a sarcastic smile, and exasperatedly threw her hands up in the air and leaned back against her locker. I smiled back and heard the bell ring. We walked our separate ways to class.
The next morning as I resumed my position on the floor, instead of sitting across from me, Ivy came and sat down next to me. She and I both sighed as Andy and Stephanie walked by, noticing painfully that neither of them bothered to glance our way.
"Bitch,
"Bastard, We both whispered under our breath as they passed. Ivy looked at me and laughed.
"You get left behind too? she asked and started snapping a rubber band that was on her wrist.
"You've got that right. As soon as he meets this new girl it's like I don't even exist. I mean, it's not like I've been his best friend since grade school or anything like that. Sometimes I just want to hit him in the face with something really painful. Like a car. I said and threw the paper ball I'd been rolling up in my hand. It landed lifelessly in the middle of the hallway and was immediately squashed under the foot of a varsity football player. Ivy laughed again and said,
"Yeah I know what you mean. I was there for that girl every minute of every day until she met him. Well, you know what, when he breaks her heart I won't be there to pick up the pieces this time. By the way, I'm Ivy. she said, and smiled that same sarcastic smile I'd seen the day before.
"April, I said and smiled back. It was the first time in a long time that I felt a bond of friendship, and this was the first time I'd ever talked to this girl. Over the next few days and weeks, we hung out and got to know each other better every day. It was nice to talk to someone who actually understood me, an didn't just listen because she was obliged to.
* * *
Mike lifted his hand from my back to dab at some blood that was beading up on my skin. I winced and sighed as he blew some cool air on the raw skin. He let out a chuckle.
"Sounds like you two really bonded under some great circumstances. he said and set down the tattoo machine, "Ready for a cigarette break? I sure am.
"Yeah, you know what they say...Well actually no I don't know what they say. It was a rather odd meeting, but I guess good things can come out of not-so-good things. I said and got up to take advantage of his break offer. I rose slowly and swayed a little as all the blood re-circulated throughout my body. I refused his offer to see the progress so far; I wanted it to be something complete when I saw it for the first time.
We walked outside and both winced at the sudden onslaught of sunlight. Mike lit his cigarette through cupped hands. I held mine between my lips and dug through my pockets searching for a lighter. He offered his to me and I inhaled deeply, letting my nerves relax.
"You know, it was Ivy who got me started on these damned things. I said, looking at the Marlboro between my fingers.
"Well then I guess you'll never forget her. When you're sixty and sitting in the hospital coughing out your lungs, you'll have her to thank. Mike reassured me. I laughed and nodded my head in a sad sort of agreement. I remembered the first time I'd ever tried a cigarette, and how much I hated the taste, but sucked one down anyway because I didn't want to seem like a good girl in front of Ivy.
* * *
"Yeah, I totally agree, I said as I coughed out a cloud of grey smoke and fanned it away from my face. Ivy was standing next to me blowing smoke rings up into the sky. "This year is going way too fast. But hey, each day brings us one day closer to getting out of this hell-hole.
"That's one way to think of it, I guess, Ivy said as she snuffed out her cigarette on the brick siding of her house and flicked it over the fence in to her neighbor's yard. I took the incentive to do the same, except when I tried to flick it; it landed about two feet ahead of me. I sighed in frustration, and that made me cough. "Just think, next summer, we'll be driving! We can go to The Rave and parties. It'll be great, we'll be 16 and have cars, and then I'm sure things will be better than they are now. Ivy said and got a dreamy far off look in her eyes. I crossed my fingers behind my back for her sake.
Ivy's parents had been arguing for months on end, and her dad was drinking a lot. My parent's divorce had become final a few months after freshman year began and things were becoming relatively stable for once around my house. That's why it was so hard for me to see her like this, I knew how much it hurt and how she was being torn apart on the inside from the people that were supposed to protect her from harm. Still holding the content gaze upon her face, she absently lifted one arm to scratch the other. Her hand moved her sleeve up and I noticed a dark purple blotch on her upper arm.
"Ivy, what the hell is that? I asked her and pulled up her sleeve. Her whole upper arm was dark purple and faded to a sickly yellow around the edges. I was afraid to touch it because it looked extremely painful. Ivy snapped out of her hopeful gaze and slapped my hand away.
"Watch it! Jesus Christ, April. she said, and rubbed at her arm. "It's nothing, all right? You know what a ditz I am, I ran into a freaking door. I gave her a look that said I didn't quite believe her but that I knew she didn't want me to be asking questions. I'd bring it up at a later date. We went inside because we knew her dad would be getting home soon, and if he smelled smoke we'd both get it.
Up in her room, which consisted of a mattress and a dresser, we lay down and looked up at her ceiling. From her mattress looking up, you got a wonderful view of all the rock stars that we were set on marrying. Ivy and I must have spent hours standing on chairs and craning our necks to staple all of those magazine posters to her ceiling, but it was well worth it. We must have fallen asleep because the next time I opened my eyes, it was almost dark in her room. I nudged her side with my elbow and sat up.
"Ivy, get up, we fell asleep. I said, and stifled a yawn. Ivy rubbed her eyes and stretched before finally sitting up next to me. As she stretched her arms above her head, I noticed a bruise similar to the one on her shoulder. This time it was located above her right hip. Just as I was about to seriously drill her for some answers, a door slammed open from downstairs. Seconds after, the yelling of her two parents could be heard through the walls. Ivy covered her ears and lay back down. Out of her eyes, a few tears rolled down her cheeks. I wiped them away and held her until the yelling stopped. Although now I can't remember what came first, the end of the yelling or Ivy and I falling asleep again.
* * *
My hands were shaking as I dropped my cigarette butt on the ground and put it out by stepping on it and swiveling my foot back and forth. I looked over at Mike who was staring at me with his mouth slightly agape.
"So, what? Her dad hit her? What happened? he asked in an eager voice. I reminded him that he had a tattoo to finish, and we walked back inside. I jumped back on the table and cringed when I felt my back already beginning to tense up from the two hour session it'd been enduring. I promised myself a back massage when I was all healed up. Seeing Mike's questioning face, I remembered his request for more information.
"Yeah, turns out he ended up doing a lot more than that. By the time I had noticed anything, this had been going on for some time. I guess I never questioned the long sleeves in the summer or the heavy makeup. As long as I'd known her that's just how she dressed. I knew her dad drank, but I had no idea... My eyes started to tear up as I thought of how battered she was, and how no one ever knew. Then I remembered the day I finally found out everything, about a year later, when things were supposed to be getting so much better.
* * *
Ivy had called me earlier and asked if I wanted to come over and watch a movie or something. I agreed, thankful for any excuse to not sit at home for another night. I drove over to her house and pulled into her driveway. As I walked up to the door and began to knock, I stopped when I heard something I hadn't heard for a long time at Ivy's house, silence. I didn't hear any yelling or anything. I kept knocking until I realized that she was probably upstairs and couldn't hear me. I opened the door and stepped into her dark house.
I walked down the hallway and into the kitchen. To my surprise, it was a mess. Chairs were overturned and dishes were broken on the ground. My heart began to race as I ran out into the living room. Ivy's dad was passed out on the couch with an empty bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. I heard music coming from upstairs so I ran up the stairs to Ivy's room to see if she was alright. I knocked on her door, but the music was loud and I figured she couldn't hear me, so I opened it slowly and looked inside.
Ivy was sitting at her vanity in nothing but her undergarments. She was dabbing at a gash on her arm with hydrogen peroxide, wincing as she did so. Her legs were covered in cuts and bruises, and her fingers on her left hand were bent at odd angles. Her back and stomach were various shades of red, purple and yellow and a stream of tears were rolling silently down her face. She must have seen me in her mirror because she looked up and turned around to face me. She wiped her eyes with her good hand and sighed.
"Hey April. Ummm¦Maybe you don't want to be here right now, I just, umm, fell down the stairs. she stammered and trailed off.
"Oh my God, Ivy, tell me what really happened. I asked, being well aware of the answer. "It was your dad, wasn't it? I looked at Ivy and my heart broke as she started to sob.
"I forgot to do the dishes. He hates it when I don't do the dishes. I didn't mean to, but I just forgot. God, I can't believe I did that, I don't even deserve to live! she cried. She got up and walked over to me. I held my arms out and let her fall into them. Her frail frame quivered as she cried and cried. I sat down on her bed with her and rand my fingers through her hair, being careful to avoid the brusies on her forehead.
"I love you Ivy, don't you ever forget that, I love you. I said, over and over. When her breathing returned to normal, I laid her down and pulled a blanket over her. "I'll be right back. I whispered, and walked downstairs. I picked up the phone to call my mom. I told her everything and she told me to get in my car and drive to the gas station to get some ice for her bruises, and that she'd get here as soon as possible to call the police. I left immediately to try to help Ivy.
* * *
"And that was the last time I saw her. I was at the gas station when my mom called me. Her voice was eerily calm. She said that when she got to Ivy's house Ivy was in the bathroom. She opened the door and found Ivy in the tub, her wrists were slit and she wasn't breathing. I dropped the ice I was carrying and ran out the store back to her house. I saw the ambulances' flashing lights before I pulled into the driveway. Out of the front door, a stretcher was being wheeled out. Ivy's dad was sitting on the curb with a blank stare on his face. I stayed around long enough to see him lead away in cuffs.
"It'd all been too much for her, so she gave in, and I hope that man can't sleep at night knowing what he did to his daughter. She was amazing, Mike, she really was. I heard the buzz off the tattoo machine cease, and I sat up to wipe my eyes for the final time. I turned to look at Mike.
"All done. I'd have to say that's the saddest story I've ever heard. I'm sorry that had to happen. If you ever need to talk about anything, here's my home number. he said, and scrawled a number on a business card. I took it with a thank you and put it in my pocket. "Ready to see your tattoo? he asked, and led me to the full length mirror on the other side of the room. I put my back to the mirror and turned my head over my shoulder to look. All the way down my spine were ivy leaves, and intertwined within them were small, black hearts. I smiled in admiration.
"It's perfect. I whispered, and spun around to give Mike a hug. When I let go, he had tears in his eyes. I brushed them away and thanked him for everything. At the counter, when I pulled out my wallet to pay him, he smiled and shook his head.
"This one's on me, but can I bum a cigarette? he asked. I slid the whole pack over to him and said,
"You know what? You can have them, I think I'm going to quit. He nodded and I thanked him once again and turned to walk out the door. As the sun hit my face, and I felt the burn on my back, I knew that Ivy was happier now. I was never going to forget her; she had become a permanent part of me. Not just through the ink on my skin, but through the way she stood strong when someone else wouldn't have been able to. If only she could have held on longer, we could have gone to graduation together and left her dad and this whole mess behind.
Ivy's parents finalized their divorce a week after Ivy's suicide. Her dad is now behind bars and won't be getting out for a while. I graduated with honors, and the school planted Ivy plants along the east side wall. They've already reached the top of the building and are still growing. I visit her grave every once in a while to fill her in on the things she's missing. I wish she was still here more than anything else in the world, but I know that now she will always be with me, our bond is more than skin deep.