A Little Bit Of Scotland In Turkey by Alfred N.Muggins (a quintessential Englishman!)
Oh How Fantastic! Sitting on a sunbed at the hotel pool, having finished a couple of pieces of writing, and suddenly without warning the sounds of Marillion wash over the pool from the Bar music system! How fantastic! How unexpected! In the Southwest of Turkey, to hear Marillion’s emotional music, so refreshing, like a cool breeze from heaven. This is definitely the Life!
There are Scottish people in the hotel, even a Scottish Breakfast option on the Breakfast Menu, in contrast to the English Breakfast Option and the Turkish Breakfast, still to be tested and presumably enjoyed. Alfred had wondered what the difference would actually be between the English and Scottish Breakfasts? Maybe the inclusion of some haggis or fried thistles instead of tomato? Porridge? Perhaps that would be it, but he didn’t really think so. The English and the Scots were more similar than the Turks, he thought, surely? But he would have to try the Scottish Breakfast tomorrow, now that he had heard Marillion – it was a sign!
All he needed now was a shot of The Skids and maybe Simple Minds! Quite definitely, that would just be absolutely fantastic!
PS. Alfred did sample the Scottish Breakfast on the hotel menu the very next morning, finding that the main difference from the English Breakfast was the inclusion of a Black Pudding with the sausages, two fried eggs on toast (x2), mushrooms and baked beans, and the obligatory tomato, which were otherwise exactly the same as the English, except for a little extra square of sausage meat also on the Scottish version, which Alfred did wonder whether it was some form of mysterious haggis, but Mrs Muggins said she did not think so (although she never actually tried it herself, neither did any more of the party. None of them were brave enough to try a breakfast as the Scots would have it!). Alfred was relieved to report that there were no fried thistles (or haggis!) on the Scottish version. The Scottish version was actually valued at more Lira than the English, enjoyed at the same value on the block booking of meals however.
Considering himself to be an honorary Scot on this occasion and a further two on the holiday, mainly due to his liking for Scottish rock music, and having actually been to Scotland quite a few times in his life, and also, in common with what he perceived as the average Scot, he also liked to get good value for money, which this meal was because they got more on the plate than the English! (The stupid fools! They didn’t know what they were missing!)
Alfred did also only finally get around to having the Turkish Breakfast only once, in the 7 days of their hotel breakfasts, and found it also to be rather good. The Turkish Breakfast included quite a few olives with a lovely cheese salad (and the obligatory tomato of course!) followed by a very good range of jams and honey, (or syrup?) with a few lovely slices of bread, which he made sure he ate all of. You should have seen Mrs Muggins’ face as he ate his olives, in between mouthfuls of cheese and salad, as he proved his point that the Turkish Breakfast was also excellent (which it was!). (She had seen him eat olives before in Benalmadina, Spain , a few years ago! And knew he liked them occasionally) If they had had a few more days of breakfasts at the hotel he would have certainly gone partly native, and had more Turkish Breakfasts too.
He never did hear any more Marillion music on the holiday, and never any Skids or Simple Minds, but once heard, never forgotten! But there were quite a few real Scots around in the hotel, and on the Jeep Safari later on the holiday!