Thank God It's Good Friday! (and April Fools) By Alfred N.Muggins
He didn’t yet know what was good about it, having only recently woke up. He had missed April Fool’s Day and a really good chance to write something funny about April Fools. Maybe he was the Fool? Maybe he had been a ‘Fool To Cry’, as he had been listening to the Rolling Stones on that day!
(Or should he put ‘Fool On The Hill’ on, by the Beatles? Although it had been at least a couple of months since he listened to that one, wondering whether the lyrics fitted with Donald Trump’s famous attack on Capitol Hill at the end of his ignominious Presidency. Like most of the free world he had got all excited, comparing it with Hitler’s last desperate days in the Bunker, or the hardliners’ last coup at the end of Gorbachev’s liberal reforms, or the Mad King’s attempt to wildfire King’s Landing before Jamie Lannister cut him down, or perhaps James II’s silly embrace of Catholicism, which cost him his throne! It was all a big Game of Thrones and a jostling for power! There had been plenty of last attempts, even in Henry VIII’s time, as one King, or Minister, or family, or another, threw their own toys out of the basket (or pram!) along with their chances!)
Good Friday Agreement? That had been years ago now. And they all hoped it stood the test of time? Well it had, so far, and hopefully all sides had grown up since then!
What was good about it (Good Friday) then? Well Mrs Muggins had already been very nice to him this morning, the cat had gone out quite happily, for a pee, and then come back in again, to spend time in Mrs Muggins’ son’s bedroom, while he was still asleep. The little dog had likewise been out for his ablutions in the new fenced off corridor, and had not barked at the neighbours or their dog for once. And although he had barked at the cat, which was by then outside, it had been brief, and really quite civilised. The intelligent dog had gone on to lever the cat’s uneaten food off the kitchen side, using the conveniently placed chair, and eaten it off the floor. He preferred to eat the cat’s food to his own. It must be some kind of dominance motive, such as ran through the pages of history (as previously noted in this piece)!
Aside from that, all was calm in the world! School children, including the Grandkids were now officially on holiday as of today, despite having only been fully back at school for two or three weeks after the full 3rd Covid lockdown.
While yesterday afternoon had been very busy and chaotic on the roads thanks to staggered school leaving times and institutions wanting to pack up as early as possible for the holiday. Everyone had had more than enough time at home in the lockdowns and now they were looking forward to even more time at home for Easter! There had better be some good Easter films on TV this year, the year to end all years, and the year to look forward to new beginnings and restarts.
There was absolutely no traffic, even at 10 o clock! He had awoken at 9 am., and made cups of tea for both himself and Mrs Muggins just after 10am., while enjoying a magnificent musical ‘shot’ of The Rolling Stones’ great 1982 album ‘Tattoo You’, in the kitchen (provided by Lady Alexa)!
The only trouble was there were no coins in his dressing gown pocket, to use as a plectrum, while picking up and playing the cheap acoustic guitar in the kitchen corner, to play a few lead lines along with that gracefully aging rock band. (They had been deemed old then! They were even older now, and still just as good!) So he had had to make do with a bottle top, which wasn’t so good, and he needed to work further on the tuning. He gave up after ‘Black Limousine’ and brought the tea back up to Mrs Muggins, who must be parched by now, with ideas buzzing around in his head for this discombobulated piece of writing