the backpaddler

saying what they actually mean to at first,
the backpaddlers watch the facial expressions of those around them
change &
the change is not what the backpaddler expected,
so quickly in their heads
they go over the statements made only moments ago
to pinpoint just where everything went wrong,
but now, there is no turning back---
what has been said, has been said &
rather than to fess up to those in the context
honestly & without remorse about the situation,
coming to realize that the person who said such a thing
is in fact
the REAL person in the room,
with all the faults, flaws & offensive characteristics of
every human being
specific to one’s own idiosyncrasies & scarring that comes from
a life lived thus far,
the backpaddler begins to apologize
bumbling, fumbling & babbling
through quickly manufactured excuses,
where it looks like this suffering can’t go on much longer
before this horrible liar
signs up to go to seminary or
registers themselves as a candidate in the next
local election.