Waterworld - Manufacturers of a revolutionary new product

WATERWORLD Plc
Riverside House,
Thames Street,
Walton on Thames
Surrey.

Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Walter Hole and I am the Managing Director of Waterworld Plc, a subsidiary of the famous Pam Summers Lingerie Company specialising in sanitary wear for the over fifties.

We know that many women over the age of fifty experience light bladder weakness that can, of course, be very embarrassing. How much more so for the over sixties who have moved on from this light bladder weakness to the medium to heavy stage which is embarrassing, unpleasant and, to the hygiene conscious, unacceptable.

Taking this as our starting point, we researched the market and found there was a definite need for a product that could alleviate this problem and so bring peace of mind to the over sixties and a certain happy relief to their families. After much research and deliberation we think we have come up with a market winner.

Developed by NASA as a by-product of their Space Programme and manufactured under licence by Richelin, a name you can trust, we are now in a position to offer this magnificent item of lingerie for sale to the general public.

Our rubber knickers, or, as we prefer to call them, our rubber reservoirs, are second to none, comfortable, discreet and unobtrusive, no one will ever know you are wearing them…other than a slight swishing noise when you walk. There is no chaffing because the heavy duty rubber that Richelin use, which, incidentally, is the same tread and wall thickness as that which they use for their Formula One wet weather tyres, prevent the wearer from closing their legs and so minimise the possibility of chaffing.

“What about odour?” I hear you ask. This is not a problem, if, as we recommend, you empty your item of lingerie every three or four days. Though we have had letters from ladies telling us that they have gone as long as a week but in one very sad case, it was reported that a lady had gone a fortnight, but the reservoir burst and she drowned, so this is not something we wish to promote. After all, it must have been very distressing, even unpleasant, for the relatives and it is not good publicity for our product, so please, be sensible and considerate to others. Our motto is “Don’t take the piss…with you!”

Remember, now you don’t have to sit in a corner afraid to cough or sneeze. Our wonder reservoirs give you the freedom to laugh out loud again. Relatives can once again allow you into their homes secure in the knowledge that their soft furnishings are no longer under threat from a deluge.

Hailed in America as a breakthrough in modern technology our revolutionary rubber reservoirs have featured large on this year’s Christmas wish list. These amazing, provocative, one might even say, saucy items of underwear can be yours for as little as £250 per pair, much cheaper for your relatives than putting you in a home.

When ordering, please state whether hi-leg or thong. To order online visit www.waterworld.co.uk or email wannadoawee@home.co.uk

Walter Hole