BLURRRGGHHH!

'BLURRRGGHHH!'

Sick doesn't cut it.
Ill? Nope that won't do.
Nearly dead - too melodramatic.

Today, I have eaten way too much cookie dough. I not like your normal
teenage girl who blinks at a calorie and goes 'Oh no, I am so fat.'
When I say I have eaten too much cookie dough - I mean: Ouch! I feel
like a sleeping bag in a crowded stuff sack, I feel like a turkey who
has been stuffed by a time-stretched woman with bad PMS, I feel like
water balloon who has been filled to the limit and is about to
explode.
Well actually, having never been a sleeping bag, a turkey or a balloon
I can't say for sure, but I think you get my point. Right now, I feel
like:

'BLURRRGGHHH!'

Yep. That's it. You can stop pretending to be so articulate cuz
sometimes it's not pictures that say a thousand words its onomatopoeia
and all I can say is:
'BLURRRGGHHH!'

I'm not sick, ill or nearly dead - I'm all and none of 'em. I'm
'BLURRRGGHHH!'

See, language is a funny thing. Funny as in odd. Words change ever day.
There's the Shakespeare garble that just goes 'WHOOSH!' over my head
and I haven't the foggiest idea what's going on. The Americans, who
were English until the paddled off and forgot about us, of course have
their own little language set up. They have sidewalks instead of
pavements, zucchinis instead of courgettes, and bathrooms instead of
toilets. There's the new slang that is constantly mutating like
bacterium. Take BAD for example:

Bad means wicked, wicked means cool, cool means jammy, jammy means
gravy, gravy means good.

Suddenly you seem faced with a bizarre paradox. Michael Jackson wasn't
singing 'I'm BAD, I'm BAD' he was singing 'I'm WICKED, COOL, JAMMY,
GRAVY - I'm GOOD!"

Huh? Yea&;#8230;

So you can see that language is a bit weird but then onomatopoeia -
that's different. Ever gone on holiday abroad? Foreigners they WAAAAA!!
Eeeek!! and ARGH!! like the rest of us don't they? And everyone
goes:
'Erm&;#8230;'
'Uh&;#8230;'

No matter who you are, you scream, cry, shout and 'erm&;#8230;' just
like me. So stuff the lingua franca and 'BLURRRGGHHH!' with me.