Changing Hands part 2 (revised title)

I tried not to let anybody see me smile when the large up-market wheelchair wouldn't go through the narrow Grade II listed entrance. Madelaine had ordered it in preference to a basic NHS one on free loan. While they jiggled it about, I decided to get up and walk though. After one step my World started to spin. I had to hang on to the big ostentatious antique door knocker in order to stay upright. I felt the nurse grip my arm and she led me into the lounge and sat me on the nearest Chesterfield. I must have looked pretty concerned clinging onto the patinated bronze muttering, ‘Oh shit,’ because she gave the sort of smile a mother gives to a frightened child.

‘Don’t worry, Mr. Hereford it’s just the effect of the anaesthetic wearing off.’

I found out later I’d been kept under heavy sedation for nearly four days. The nurse was about to say something else when Madelaine bustled in.

‘Beverly, you had better get him straight to bed, he’s clearly not ready to stand at the moment.’

‘I’m alright it’s just the . . .’ I was ignored, Maddie in control mode made a bolshie Mule look positively laid back.

After being half carried into the dining room, which they’d kitted out like a room in a top-end rehab clinic, I was stripped and repackaged in loose PJs and deposited in bed. Madelaine left me alone while Beverly checked my blood pressure and monitored my heart movements. She seemed a nice woman, aged around late-thirties with a kindly round face, coo-ing at me respectfully while she went about her work.

‘Please call me Jim,’ I said, ‘I hate being Mr. Hereford.’

A frown crossed her blushing face, followed by a smile. Without looking me in the eye, she busied herself smoothing the bed clothes and the lining up medical paraphernalia on the surface of the folded-up dining table. She jumped when the grandfather clock tocking in the corner decided on a single clang to rejoice the half-hour.

‘I’ll be back in thirty minutes to give you the medication for tonight.’ She glanced at the clock. ‘Does that bother you, Mr. . . .um?’

‘Yeah, switch the damn thing off. You only need to stop the pendulum swinging, it’s easy. Thank you, Bev.’

At last I was alone, but not for long. I barely had time to register my surroundings when Madelaine entered carrying a bed tray loaded with a Royal Worcester bowl accompanied by a matching tea cup and saucer.

‘I’ve brought you some broth for supper: Cock-a-Leekie. Your favourite, fat free of course. Beverly made it, but it’s my recipe. You can’t have very much today I’m afraid.’

I’d completely forgotten about eating, but the sight and smell of food reminded me I was hungry and very thirsty. I carefully lifted the over-ornate cup and sipped the beige liquid. I winced at the sugarless flavour.

‘Sugar is out for the moment, James. You can have sweeteners if you wish.’ She produced a small Canderel dispenser.’

‘Two please, M.’

After dropping the tabs into my cup, Madelaine pulled up a chair and sat by my side while I gulped down the tea and ate the watery, but welcome broth. After I put my spoon down, I looked up and caught Maddie watching me with a rather soft concerned look. It vanished almost instantly, reverting her usual business like expression, but not before I glimpsed a touch of embarrassment.

‘That was better than I expected.’

‘Well, that is a relief.’ she actually smiled.

I leaned back, not really knowing what to say. Maddie remained seated and watched me for a good minute. It was odd, she’s rarely lost for words. Eventually she patted my left hand, stood up and collected the tray.

‘Beverly will be back in a moment with your medication, then you should try to sleep. You have to rest, the specialist said it’s very important during the next few days.’

I watched her breeze out in back to business style. I could still feel the touch of her hand on mine, it seemed important. Twenty minutes later, I was laying in the darkened room after swallowing the two funny coloured tablets which Beverly brought. Truly alone now, I had time to think. I thought about Maddie’s unguarded expression. It seemed to me she had that look when we were first together. I remembered her touch on my hand. I raised it and turned it over several times. In the half-light I couldn’t see the blemishes, but I knew they were there. You haven’t earned the right to wear hands that look like these. A shiver ran down my spine as I drifted into sleep wondering if I’d still feel the same way in the morning.