Indescribably annoying

This damned spurt took me unawares as I upended the poles.
It burst upon my trousers
And even hit my t-shirt,
But at least it is not yellow
So I can rescue my withering clothes
From mortal ruin.
As I stood there and took it in it was seeping down my leg
And tickling the hairs,
dripping from knees onto shocked feet,
And even as I looked down,
It was invading my brain
Like a virus in full fledge,
Leaving its immortal stain in m memory,
Warning me to not do it again.
What an ass I am.