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Gold cherry
Poem of the week

By Ray Schaufeld

Tue, 03 Jul 2018
  • 4739 reads
10 comments
 

You will feel before you hear.

 

Nightgarment sweat

'Can I return to sleep?'

Quiet noise -  from where ?

A serpent chorus.

 

You will decipher after.

Pack what you can hold.

Take the first transport out.

 

 

Certificate PG
Poem
Horror

Comments

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Lovely and sparse. Well thought-out, Elsie.

A real invitation to think about what's going on in the spaces between the lines.

I was wondering if RUN! needs to be there?

Parson Thru

Submitted by london_calling79 on

I thought exactly the same thing as Parson! This has such fear and claustrophobia about it that the surreptitious leaving of 'Take the first transport out' is a nice, dark ending. Really atmospheric writing.

 

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Well - London Calling and PT this sounds like wise advicesmiley

Going to try it without RUN! at end.

Cheers eds for the cherries.

Submitted by airyfairy on

Sometimes a few words is all it takes.  This brief and unsettling poem is our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day!  Please do share/retweet if you enjoy it too.

Elsie - I'm sorry about changing the picture.  As far as I could see it comes from the Highway Code and I was a bit cautious about crown copyright for the FB and Twitter Picks.  Please change it back if I've got it wrong.

Picture:  Pixabay Creative Commons

Submitted by celticman on

sometimes we forget how much we have. pack what you can hold sums up our riches. 

 

Submitted by iwylie on

fantastic, well deserved pick of the day!! my mind filled in all the middle spaces and made it a rich piece thank you for inspiring an imaginative piece. 

 

Submitted by thornwood on

Nice poem. These kind of thoughts hit my upsiide down mind, at the moment dali.

Excellent short very thoughtfull poem.

Thank you.

Stephen d

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Airy, CM, Cialre, Thornword thanks for your great comments.

This is 'giving away trade secrets' - the poem stemmed from discontent with a part-time job. I left the story open and hinted at a last second escape from something BAD.

Cheers eds for POTD.

Airy - changing the image is fine. Conveys the same message - don't wait for the lights to change.

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Our poem of the week!  Well done!

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Great surprise! Thank you. smiley