Someone Died Today (2)

Somebody Died Today (2)

In a world where survival is the prime directive for many; somebody dying is of little consequence to most. Death is literally a world away from the living, and if we are truthful that is where we want it to stay.

I must be totally honest with you when it comes to dying; until it actually happens to me, it never will, if that makes sense.  I talked about survival and that is probably a sensible approach for me to take in order to cope with actually living.

Yet I know that for some it becomes the only answer in a state of desperation and deep depression and a tunnel of mental exhaustion that sees death as the only hope.  I have my faith and I know it does not have to be that way, but even the Messiah saw that empty feeling on the Cross; even if only for an instant.

Whatever someone’s faith, belief or attitude to living. When they lose the grip of the hand that leads them, a doom deeper that any pit of despair can engulf them.  Sadly I must confess to the thought often spoken ‘why would someone ever want to do that?’ The answer is partly in where you are sitting at the time.

Mental health is something I took for granted when I was younger ‘now these days I’m not so self-assured…’ to quote the Beatles and I think there are a number of reasons.  Firstly the more life I live and experience the less I am able to cope with it or understand its complex nature.  Secondly, I am aware of a physical vulnerability that was not there in my youth and that in turn affects my self-confidence and lastly my increasing awareness of others and their plights makes me reassess how I view mental health.

I wrote a while back about an anger at a suicide that had spoilt my selfish plans. Since then I have become increasingly aware of the fragile peace that holds the mind together.  I now work on a volunteer basis with people who have various addictions.  I have an addiction to gambling myself and sharing that with other like-minded folk has changed me forever.

I began this piece with ‘somebody died today…2’ and tragically the will have.  Addiction has many different guises, but sadly for some only one solution; as only they can see it in that sad, so sad moment.

May I never be that unfeeling, ungrateful, uncaring person ever again.