The Florrie and Jack Dialogues : A Gay Pride (Episode 7)

A Gay Pride

Florrie : Trevor is out of jail, Jack.

Jack : I’m glad, Mum. It must have been so different from Wolverhampton university.

F : You are telling me, Jack. From the great subliminal heights of Wolverhampton to the knockin shop that was that den of a prison, Jack. How on earth will Trevor adjust?

J : He’s pretty earthed, Mum, after all he’s got Keith Sludge now.

F : Yes, that’s what that prison’s done. It’s taken an innocent boy and turned him into one of them.

J : Yeh, pretty spooky.

F : The problem now, Jack, is what is Trevor going to do with a scandalous slur on his extemporary character?

J : I don’t know, Mum, but it looks as if he’s going to install himself in a flat on Claxonwork estate.

F : Claxonwork estate, Jack, me and Cilla wanted Mansion Gardens for Trevor, you know, Jack, that expensive street where all the propositionals live.

J : I know, Mum. I think such things are lost forever.

F : Yes, poor Trevor doesn’t even have crim boss status, which a lot of these charlie anns have, Jack. He’s left without a leg to stand on in this awful world.

J : Is he going to go to Cardiff?

F : Cilla thinks so, Jack. He’s going to make his deja vu with the local choir.

J : Is he worried about the death of so many stars who have been clearing up in Cardiff.

F : Yes he is, Jack, but he thinks Keith may be a great pretense against such an evil.

J : Keith is so brave, Mum, to fight in the corner of a genius.

F : I know, Jack. I have always felt sorry for the lower class. Keith is such a noble man, but really, Jack we must think of what Trevor can do for Keith. Trevor can give Keith so much.

J : Mmm, maybe, but if he can’t get a job with the BBC they won’t have much money.

F : Keith is going to lay cables.

J : That will bring in something.

F : Yes, although I was shocked by such a pairing I am getting used to the idea of my nephew living with another man.  Just last night I was watching a programme where two loving gay men, and they are loving, Jack, frosted a young boy; how caring is that, Jack?

J : You are right, Mum. Two men giving all they’ve got to a poor boy.

F : Well, if Trevor were to want a derived boy in his life, Jack, who are we to question his motors. Trevor is love itself, Jack, you know he is.

J : Mmm maybe, if we forget those ugly rumours.

F : Oh, Jack, the people that tout such lies are evil.

J : And Trevor’s mind, Mum, it is such a delicate instrument; such rumours could push him over the edge if he were to adopt.

F : I will be behind him, Jack, no matter what he and his gay pride decide. I don’t care; I am throwing caustic to the wind because of my love for Trevor.

J : What does Aunt Cilla think of Trevor’s terrible misfortunes, Mum?

F : Well, after bankrupting the NHS because of all her tranquillizers, Jack, she really doesn’t care anymore.

J : She used to be so fastidious about Trevor’s morals.

F : I know, Jack. This is a terrible demolition for her, she has had to come down from her high place of elevated social status.

J : She was only a bank clerk, Mum.

F : I don’t care, Jack. They are such specious people.

J : They aren’t special, Mum. I’ve said before I think even Trevor is ordinary.

F : That is reason, Jack, you know it. My nephew has never been ordinary.

J : Married to Keith Sludge, Mum, I think will bring out all sorts of problems.

F : Well , not surprisingly really, Jack. The country is probably not ready for something so unconditional.

J : Even I am a bit embarrassed around Trevor now, Mum, knowing, you know, what they do.

F : Knowing what they do, Jack, how can they do anything, they are two men?

J : Really, Mum, we cannot close our eyes to Sodom.

F : Please, Jack, don’t make it sound hearse than it is.

J : They will have to bring back the sitting case car for Aunt Cilla, I can see it coming.

F : Don’t be traumatic, Jack, Cilla is over her conviction.

J : I hope so, Mum, for I am sure the BBC radiophonic workshop is now a thing of the past.

F : It is funny you should say that, Jack. Your Aunt Cilla was telling me only the other day that Trevor had applied and they were going to interview him at the radiotoxic workshop.

J : But, Mum, Trevor is a convicted felon, how can the BBC ever condescend to patronize a ciminal?

F : Because the sentence was quashed, Jack, that’s how. You know all the work we did, all that titillation with the lawyers, it has paid off. There is nothing the BBC like more, Jack, than justice restored. It is like that fallable about the prodigious son, Jack. God is overwhelmed with joy at the homecoming of a lost sheep.

J : I can see your point, Mum. The story has a certain romance.

F : Yes, but we’ll leave the romance to Keith, Jack.

J : You know what they said in the prison, Mum, don’t you, romance, let your bum go darlin’?

F : You are rude, Jack, some would be infiltrated by your sassy humour, I am not, Jack. I’m a good woman, moral and high minded.

J : I bet Keith is well blown.

F : Please, Jack, we don’t need any of these cements. I have decided he is a good hearted boy who happens to be poor. I love the poor, Jack, after all they’ve got nothing. We will give him all of Trevor; we are doing something wonderful for humanity, Jack, giving an ordinate boy such a superior mind to toy with.

J : And Trevor, Mum?

F : And Trevor, Jack, must use his first class brains to master his fate.