A Close Shave - Part 5 - A Craven Danger Mystery
Sidney Green pulled up to the curb and waited for Betty Fletcher and Craven Danger. FDR, the old German Shepard, sat next to him in the front seat.
“Patients come ta those who wait, FDR,” said Sidney. “That was an oath made famous by Dr. Hippocrit a long time ago. He invented doctors, ya know. And being the first doctor, he sure musta had himself a lot of patients. Because, if you were sick in those days, where else ya gonna go? The guy made a fortune. I read that in the paper once.”
FDR licked at his haunches, and glanced at the fallen leaves that crackled as they hit the windshield.
“Well, you may not find that too interestin’,” said Sidney. “But I sure did. And speakin’ of patience, I got plenty of it. People are always sayin’ ta me things like, ‘Hey, cabbie, pull over ta that saloon and wait. I need a shot an’ a beer before I get home. I’ll be out in a sec.’ One time a guy says that ta me and he don’t come out for four hours. When I finally get the guy home, nice and safe, and tell him he owes me thirty eight dollars and fifty cents, the guy starts cryin’ an’ says, ‘But ya only drove me a mile. I coulda walked that for nothin’! Then he upchucks whatever it was he was drinkin’ onta my back seat.
“I tell ya, FDR. It takes a lot of patience to not wanna pound a guy.
"And where are those two anyways? We should be on our way ta the Bronx by now. I tell ya another thing I figured out, FDR. On the outside, dames are sure fun ta look at, but boy, on the inside? Scary. Guys I can figure. But Dames? Not so much. Take Mr. Danger, for instance.
"Now he’s a bit of a schlub sometimes, but him I got figured. He wants ta play detective, only he ain’t got what it takes ta be a real policeman on account of his fallen arches. Which is the same reason they wouldn’t let him play soldier. So what does the guy do under the circumstance? He goes and makes himself a sorta soldier and policeman. ‘Cause all the poor sap really wants ta do is help people. He got somethin’ in him that says, ‘ya got more in ya than the average Joe and someday ya gonna do the world some good.’
But Betty is a shoe of a different color all together. Her I can’t figure at all. One minute she’s little Miss Lovesick, askin’ ol' Sidney for advice on love and such, and the next minute she’s sockin’ some loser in a bakery and then stops to buy goodies on the way out. All like it was perfectly natural. Yeah, dames is a mystery ta me all right. But I’m glad ta know her, FDR. And not because she bought me a chocolate eclair at the bakery. Although, that’s a pretty good reason for likin’ anybody.”
When Betty Fletcher and Craven Danger emerged from Craven’s building, Sidney fed FDR the last piece of eclair and started the engine.