The Hottest Day in the Recorded History of Earth

Alex, a middle-aged man with disheveled, infuriating hair and a throbbing headache, squinted at the blaring television. The news anchor's blowhard voice seemed distant as he announced, "Today was the hottest day ever recorded on the planet Earth."

Alex groaned, clutching his pounding temples. His bleary eyes scanned the room, searching for his water bottle. Finding it half-empty, he took a swig, barely registering the gravity of the news. To him, global warming was nothing more than a distant buzz, irrelevant to his immediate concerns.

One thing he was sure of....his fridge was cold and still had a few Genny Cream Ales left. He snapped open another Genny and grabbed another hair off yet another dog.

He stumbled towards the thermostat, cranking up the air conditioning to escape the apparently oppressive heat outside. The chilled air enveloped him, offering temporary respite from the sweltering temperatures that ravaged the world beyond his apartment walls. Alex convinced himself that as long as he had his air conditioning, what was the problem?

His hangover still gripping him, Alex sluggishly shuffled to the window, peering outside. People on the streets looked weary, sweat-drenched, and fatigued. The lush trees that once adorned the neighborhood had withered, their leaves brittle and brown. A pang of curiosity flickered in his mind, but he swiftly dismissed it, unwilling to let it disrupt his apathy.

Incuriosity is a thin mask for cowardice.

Days turned into weeks, and the relentless heatwave tightened its grip on the city. Alex's routine consisted of avoiding the outdoors, finding solace in the artificial coolness of his apartment. His concern for the world outside his comfort zone was limited to scrolling through social media, dismissing climate-related posts as "alarmist propaganda." He had his teevee. He stopped watching the news as stories of weather related incidents took precedence even over the ever increasing mass shootings, shark infestations, raging wildfires,unbreathable air and Trump generated unpresedential unprecedentialities. His girlfriend Gina kept him stocked with beer and weed. Life was good.

However, fate had its way of jolting even the most apathetic souls from their slumber. One sweltering afternoon, as Alex reclined on his couch waiting for Gina to show up, the air conditioning unit emitted an ear-splitting screech before sputtering to a halt. Panic washed over him as the cold air abruptly ceased.

All over the country, overused air conditioning systems gave up the ghost.

Alex's hangover peppered world collided with the reality of the heatwave raging outside his window. Sweat trickled down his forehead, mingling with his desperation. The suffocating heat began to seep into his apartment, and the walls, once a shield against the elements, transformed into a furnace.

And he was down to seeds and stems again too.

And where the fuck was Gina?

Unable to bear the rising temperatures, Alex stumbled outside, disoriented and drenched in perspiration. The sight before him was surreal—cracked pavements, parched earth, and weary faces mirroring his own confusion and disbelief.

Gasping for breath, Alex approached a small gathering of people seeking refuge under the shade of a dying tree. Their impassioned voices rose above the stifling air, pleading for collective action to combat global warming. They spoke of disappearing ecosystems, rising sea levels, and the urgent need for change.

An unfamiliar spark flickered within Alex as he listened. The reality of the world he had ignored crashed down upon him, and a newfound understanding seeped into his reluctant consciousness. The hangover that had once dominated his thoughts paled in comparison to the hangover the planet now faced.