By ice rivers
When we re-learn how to sleep, the difference between night and day becomes negligible as the piss brigade activates.
Here's how it works.
I'm peeing about every seventy minutes 24/7. That's an improvement from once every fifty minutes a couple of days ago. I've passed so much water, it's as if I've walked half way around Lake Ontario which means there's still a lot of water to pass.
Five minutes after every water pass, the urgency to pass, diminishes. Herein lies my opportunity to sleep. I've got to catch the winks when I can and I'm getting better at it. I hit a snooze button which I have just invented. Sometimes I drop off within 10 mintes. About one in three drop offs will result in a dream. I like that because I know I must be sleeping if I'm dreaming.
Then after about a half hour I am urgently awake. I rest in the bed for 10-12 minutes and then I steal myself another mirror.
Repeat ad absurdium
All day and all of the night with two breaks in between.
First break in the "morning" when I have my toast and my Ensure. I usually think about writing at this time but decide against it and go back to bed.
Repeat brigade all "afternoon" until "national news time". I get up. Fix something to eat. Find out what kind of outrage Trump is manifesting. Turn on a Yankee game. Sit in my chair. Watch the game. Stay awake. Think about writing. Pass water. Sit back down. Watch. Think. Pass.
The game ends about "midnight".
Head back into the eternal bedroom.
Back to the same book.
Walk around Ontario.
Back to the book
Sometimes talk to "someone" about "something" in my sleep.
Wake up at the sound of my own voice.
Realize I'm talking, pretty sure I was sleep talking because there's nobody else in the room.
Once, I remember asking a phantom DeNiro " why do you make so many shitty movies?"
Of course there was no response.
And the beat goes on.
The re-learning continues.
The battle is joined.
I think we're winning. I'm getting my eight hours of sleep. sixteen half hours at a time.
Good for us
Fatigue is the enemy of both urgency and connectivity.
Urgency and connectivity are essential elements of writing.
We have an idea, we've got to capture it and we've got to capture it NOW. We know how ideas appear and disappear like butterflies. They are eager to flutter by and demand immediate attention. Attention requires energy. Energy is gored by fatigue just as fatigue is bored by energy. The idea flutters away and fatigue assures us that it will be back someday..just not today. Don' worry bout it. It's cool. Lie down. Who cares? You think you got people out there who care if you captured that idea or not. They don't. They wouldn't appreciate it even if you had caught it and attempted to connect with it.
You wanna know what you need to connect with.? You need to connect with your dreams. Just rest. Go to sleep. So what if you don't remember your dreams. Your dreams are just another set of butterflies that are not meant to be captured and lepodoptorized. Don't tell anybody about your dreams except maybe your shrink who has made a living listening to non-sense and reflecting it back to no-one except you.
There is no one except you so if you can connect with yourself that's pretty goddamned good and what you should be spending all your time doing and you've got plenty of time when you're sleeping. No need to rush until you've got to get up and pee.
That urge to urinate is the only urgency you need to worry about. It is the only alarm clock.
And if you are lucky and quick enough to connect that urge with consciousness and the nearest water closet, then you've realized all the urgency and connectivity that you'll need for this afternoon.
Time for a nap.