Welcome to Telephila

Lonnie had been aware of Telephila for about a year. On his way home from Blockbuster one day, Lonnie noticed a large NOW HIRING sign on a one level,cement block, basic commercial office building across the street from a Hess gas station.

Even then, jobs were hard to find, so Lonnie stashed the information away in his brain pan for the day he was fired from his current temporary job at a staggering photo-finishing lab, his subsequent unemployment insurance expired and/or inspiration hit.

It never occurred to Lonnie that a gigantic NOW HIRING sign should be read as an even more gargantuan NOW FIRING sign.

A few days later, the Community College had another of its career days. Lonnie was interested in a position at Paychex but the Paychex area was packed with desperate hopefuls, hoping desperately for a run of pay checks from Paychex. 

Lonnie wasn't about to wait in a long line just to be sold a bucketful of false hope. He walked past Paychex and found a table marked Telephila.

There was nobody waiting in line at this table.

Behind the table was a plain, non-threatening woman in sensible shoes which mixed messaged with her red glasses. 

Lonnie approached the table and addressed the woman, "What's good?"

The woman said that her name was Nancy. She and her partner were the founders of Telephila which she pronounced Tel EFF ella with accent on the second syllable.

Lonnie asked for the location of the company.

Nancy said it was right down the road from the Holland Plaza, where in fact the Blockbuster was also located.

Lonnie asked if it was in a one level, cement block, basic commercial office building across the street from a Hess gas station.

Nancy said that indeed it was.

Lonnie put two and two together and got twenty two. "Oh, you must work for NOW HIRING and you're working here now hiring people to work at NOW HIRING. 

"Well, we're not exactly hiring people now but we are setting up interviews for people who are interested in hiring people at Telephila."

"Besides hiring people, what do the people who are hired at Telephila actually do when they are hired or do they just hire people as well to hire more people."

Lonnie was on a roll.

Nancy was semi- amused and Lonnie was the only one in line.

"We are a for profit company that raises money for non- -profit organizations. We have a call center. Why don't you stop in this week and take a look around."

Nancy gave Lonnie her business card.

Lonnie lied and said he would stop in next week for a look around.

Nancy had heard that song a few times before.

They both knew Lonnie was pretending but they both pretended not to notice.

 Fifty weeks later, Lonnie not only came in and looked around,he interviewed and was accepted for training.

By that time, Nancy and her red glasses were long gone.

Lonnie never saw her again.

A few weeks after taking the Telephila training...Lonnie got promoted to a position in the center hiring people although there were no current openings at Telephila.

Lonnie knew he was a goner.