B... the 10p wok.

The Wok

'Tes' beckoned. Once again the 'co' had given up in its haste to light
up the lives of the late night shoppers. There was a row of disabled
spaces all painted bright blue, I wondered where we would have parked
if the paint was wet, or maybe there are some disabled drivers with
bright blue wheels - I searched the lines of trolleys for more
evidence.

I grabbed the nearest half sized trolley. This trip was now a regular
occurrence so I knew that a half sized trolley abandoned for more that
5 minutes was rare.

He wanted to make this soup, and after seeing the pictures in the
cookbook of soup being made in a Wok He was convinced that that was the
reason for the 'original' taste in His first attempt. So a wok it would
be. Nothing too fancy, non-stick of course, and it had to have a lid.
Well my mothers had a lid, (I momentarily forgot that she never used it
and that she often complained that it took up too much room in the
cupboard) and it had to have a wooden handle, pine to match the double
bed that we recently bought.

The Wok was placed delicately into the half trolley. He hobbled off to
get the veg on his list.

Penguins and Vultures

Eight o'clock at this particular supermarket, not to give too much
away, on a Monday, they clear out all the old stock. Basically you can
get 3 days worth of fresh (ish) food at 10p per item, handy for
students on mainly alcohol budgets.

We take it in turns at the chilled reduced counter, perching by it
while the other scavenges for other bargains, like penguins. Eventually
the sticker man came along while I was minding the nest. Instantly, as
if the sound of the sale gun had echoed down every isle, they all
flocked in, the Vultures. Of course I was worse than them all, hanging
over before the death. No mater there was plenty of yellow stickers in
our half trolley, or at least enough to, hopefully, annoy the either
decrepit or yet unborn casher.

As normal I wanted to spend longer being a vulture, maybe it's an
addiction, but He spoilt my fun, even though I was convinced that the
10p sirloin was going to come along any minute. We headed, well, He
hobbled and I sulked towards the checkouts.

Everyone is an obsessive compulsive

Everyone in the world is an obsessive compulsive, and there is just one
thing that I have to have right, and that is the packing. It's quite
simple though, and gradually He is getting to understand it, well
understand that if I say bread doesn't go with butter, then He doesn't
put them together.

Frozen goes with frozen, dairy goes with dairy, meat goes with meat,
bread stays alone, and bottles, but not milk go together, fruit with
veg?.

Mostly this is sorted on the conveyer belt. HOWEVER the person who
cannot do much more than make 'beep' noises never realises that if
someone puts something in order on the conveyer, then that is the order
that it should be beeped in. Any way, everyone in the world is an
obsessive compulsive, or that's my excuse.

The beeber

So we're at the checkouts and our shopping, although technically still
their shopping as I haven't paid for it yet, is neatly positioned ready
for the beeper to beep it. I suddenly realise what I have done - the
first item is Lambrusco (long over due girly night in.) The beeper
buzzes - NO - the light flashes, it seems like the whole supermarket
turns to look at me,
"Ha! It's the stupid woman who took her alcohol, no Lambrusco, to the
under 18 year old casher!"
The (probably blind) supervisor eventually comes to give him permission
to sell me my girly night in. I look at Him, He smiles! The supervisor
disappears and he continues - out of order and very slowly, to make
beep noises.

He packs, under my instructions, and I keep a close eye on the total,
and what he's beeping, knowing that 'Glen' is going to make
mistakes.
"Er, skews me miss. Wat's these?"
Well at least there was some attempt at politeness,
"Passion fruit."
"Oh!" the total goes up by 10p, I don't mind those mistakes.
"And these?"
"Limes"
He says "Green lemons." I tell Him to be quiet, He'll only confuse poor
'Glen' who can't add up let alone put things through in the right order
- he charges for two 'Green Lemons' instead of 3

"Mushrooms" I say under my breath as the look of complete bafflement
continues.
Glen buzzes, it flashes, blind old woman scurries to help, whole shop
looks,
"Under 18 and new."
"10p?" he says.
"Yes, press this, do this, do that, press that..."
"Ahhh!"
I look at Him, He smiles again.

A few more items go through, not much to go now. Potatoes, I watch the
total go up ?1.70?
"Sorry love, 10p." I said.
Glen passes Him the Wok and into the half trolley it goes.
"Damn" says Glen and deletes the last two items changing one to
10p.
Club-card, debit-card, sign here and leave, with the half trolley and
the ?20 non-stick, pine handled, with lid Wok. 10p.
He looks at me, I smiled, then stared at the trolley wheels in case any
were blue.