S: 5/28/03

Work Diary, 5/28/03

Exceptionally-Heart-Breaking-Things-My-Dog-Does-That-Make-Other-People-Roll-Their-Eyes-In-Utter-Disgust

1. Beagle Car Wash: Each morning I head down the stairs in my robe to
put on my clothes for the day. Eventually I have to sit on the stairs
to put on my shoes, at which point the dog - who has been waiting for
this moment - pushes herself under my legs and waits for me to scratch
and pat her back.

2. Beagle Drive-Thru: At our kitchen sink is a window. If we approach
this window, the dog ultimately dives through her door and, perching on
a box, pops up for a treat. Just as ultimately we crank open the window
and give her something, even if it's a thyme-infused biscuit with a
hint of parsley, made in France.

3. Beagle Bed: As I'm reading each night, the pooch places her wet nose
on my arm to insist I lift the covers so she can get under them. Once
the lights are out (and usually after I'm asleep), the dog decides
she's had enough warmth and comes up for air. She starts as a hump
under the duvet, makes her way up, and her head pops out before she
plops - yes, plops - onto the pillow for the night. She has no issues
with one's arms lying across her.

4. Beagle Walk: "Do you want to go for a?" Typically this is enough to
send the dog into an epileptic fit. She gets so excited, as if the
world outdoors is something to ever really consider. She's also a fount
of entertainment for such questions as: Do you need a bone? Are you
sleepy (good for a groan or two)? Have you barked at enough cats today?
Have you? Are you sure? 'Cuz I think there's more out there! I do! I
do! You better go look! Yep, look! Get 'em!

Sick-making, hunh? The world is a plethora of problems and sometimes
it's enough to make you run for cover and wonder what on Earth happened
to common sense. So why worry about a stupid spoiled Beagle who lives
the life of Riley while barking at kitties and lounging on one of
several sheepskin cushions specifically designed for her comfort and
maximum sleepability?

Why, indeed? Because I do. Yes I do. Yep-a-roonies I do. Oh
yep-diddly-icious I do. I do until the gosh dang diddly dorkly dorks do
what they're supposed to dang doop doodily ding dang do. I do. I do. Oh
bang bing bang dangly, I do.

See? Sick-making.