I can't eat that!

I can’t eat that!

Three choices of mains

All heavy, somewhat difficult to swallow

Meaty, sloppy, a bit scant

Three or four side dishes

Spicy, green, something whacky too

You can only choose one

Be aware when it arrives

Some components from your chosen dish

May be missing from your plate

That’s the way it is…. Tough!

It was forever thus

Hand those nuts around liberally

To the many not the few

It’s time to free your privates

After all these years

You’ll feel exposed, a chill

This winter, well most of you will

As you gnaw on

A hard boiled brexit

Undercooked, on the bone

No warm gravy to bring the dish together

Don’t choke on it

Heimlich left in a huff with his manoeuvre

It’s meat and two veg

Sorry we don’t do Escargot anymore

Besides we’re overbooked now

If you want the European menu

You’ll have to cancel and rebook

At our other restaurant; The Sturdy Schnitzel

It’s threatened with closure, be quick  

But it’s utterly equally good

With hyperfast broadband from heaven

Kids eat for free

It’s weetabix or nothing

I prefer an all you can eat buffet

Choice picks for sensible eaters

I think I’ve lost my appetite

What’s the point?

The tips never reach the workers anyway