A Different Super Hero ( Part 2)

He left the flat; as usual the lift wasn’t working so he had to walk down the six flights of stairs. It was harder than he thought; the suit was hot and heavy. By the time he reached the main entrance he was sweating like a rapist and breathing just as heavy.

But not to worry, he was Hamsterman, Hamsterman had special powers, he could survive almost anything. He left the block of flats and walked onto Hackney High Road.

It was just after seven o’clock in the evening, there were lots of people walking along the street, all creeds, all colours, and all hard as nails.

He could hear a few comments being made.

“Oi mate, where the fuck you going, tufty club?”

He kept walking, no point in peaking too early, he needed his energy to fight real crime later on.

“Fuck me, it’s secret squirrel.”

He kept walking.

“Mind your nuts everyone”

He kept walking. He decided to turn left down a dark and damp alleyway, if there was crime to be fought he was sure this was where he’d find it. He wasn’t disappointed.

Thirty feet in front of him, three men were counting out a large sum of money beside an old skip. One of them looked over in Hamstermans direction. He laughed. The other two did the same, they all laughed.

This was it; this was what he’d been waiting for.

They were obviously counting out drug money; he’d take it and give it to some charity. He slowly stepped forward and stopped just ten few feet away from them.

The three men looked at each other, a little confused. The biggest one who was holding the money turned and walked up to Stephen.

“What the fuck you looking at?”

Stephen took a deep breath and then shouted.

“I’m Hamsterman, give me the money and I won’t hurt any of you, you can be on your way.”

The other two guys shouted out.

“What did he say boss?”

“I think he said Lime Camper Van, he wants some money so he can get on his way.”

The smallest one of the two other nodded.

“Yeh I get it, he’s obviously on his way to a fancy dress party, his lime green Camper Van has broken down and he needs a couple of quid to get it fixed so he can get to where he’s going.”

The big guy agreed, that must be it.

“I’ll give you this mate, you’ve got some bollocks, or should I say nuts, to walk around here looking like that, here you go, here’s a score, get your van fixed.”

He handed Hamsterman twenty quid from the large bundle of money he was holding.

Because of the large grey furry head he was wearing, Stephen couldn’t hear exactly what the big guy had said, but leaned forward to take the money, as he did so he accidently trod on his big bushy tail, he lost his balance and fell forward, the big guy was unprepared and didn’t react quickly enough, before he knew what was happening he was being bowled over by a giant Squirrel.

They both crashed onto the floor. The big guy cracked his head as he hit the pavement and was out cold.

The other two guys looked over in total disbelief.

“What the fuck…”

Hamsterman stood up, his squirrel head had slipped slightly to the right, he couldn’t see a thing, he was completely disorientated and had no idea in which direction he was facing. He panicked and started to run, he hit both the other guys at full pace, knocking one to the floor and the other against the hard metal skip.

They quickly got up and ran in the opposite direction. Hamsterman stopped and managed to straighten his squirrel head. He heard a voice from above, he looked up.

On the fourth floor balcony of an overlooking tower block was an elderly woman, she was shouting and waiving. He couldn’t hear what she was saying. He walked over to the big guy on the floor and picked up the large wad of cash then walked casually out of the alley and onto the main road.

Two doors along was a charity shop, they were just about to close for the night. Hamsterman walked in and handed the old lady on the till the wad of notes.

“I’m Hamsterman and I fight crime, this is for you, give it to the kids.”

He left the shop and walked the short distance home.

He was completely knackered and fell asleep. He woke the next morning and turned on the TV. The local news was about to start. He watched in disbelief.

“We go over live now to Hackney where there were some strange goings on last night with a man dressed as a giant rat, what can you tell us Paul?”

A man dressed in a smart suit was standing outside Hackney Police Station.

“Well, it’s all a bit strange but we seem to have had a bit of a crime fighter on the streets of Hackney last night, a well-known drug dealer was taken into custody suffering from head injuries, an eye witness whose flat overlooks the area where this happened said she saw a giant rat overpower three men with some kind of martial art technique, take their money and then take it to the local Charity Shop. The Police have said they are looking for a man with martial arts training who may live in or drive a Lime Green Camper van, back to you in the studio.”

Stephen Jones stood up.

“It’s Hamsterman, not bloody Ratman, what is the matter with these people.”