Arial Wintertail, the Ogre's Wife

(Another older piece that's been sitting in my writing folder for way too long. Reworked and expanded it.)

As the self-proclaimed "Prettiest Fairy in All the Land" (or PFAL), Arial Wintertail always had her pick of charming suitors. But when Tansy Gigglevail suggested the new FDS (Fairy Dating Service)—well, she just couldn't pass it up. Her chances of marrying a handsome prince would double, maybe even triple. 

She filled out the necessary forms with more than enough truth "enhancers" to attract the right sort of true love.  On the line asking for weight, she delicately wrote three dandelion seeds, and where it asked for temperament, she scribbled angelic in glittering cursive, then slipped it into the large wooden box on the table.

The box began to jiggle and bounce. Sparks flew up from the opening followed by strange noises. A few beeps, boops, and whoop-whoops later, the machine spit out a folded green leaf.

Tansy snatched it away before Arial could get her hands on it. Her eyebrows raised high on her forehead. Arial leaned in to get a look at the name on the leaf, but the other fairy stuffed it in her pocket.

"FDS has done it again. You must go to the clearing in the forest today. Your one true love will be there waiting for you," giggled Tansey, as she clapped her hands.

"That's it?" asked Arial. "Just go to the forest? I'm the prettiest fairy in all the land. Shouldn't my one true love come to me?"

"No," said Tansy. "You better hurry. You don't want your prince to leave. He may choose someone else, and then what will you do?" She turned Arial around and shoved her out the door. "Good luck." She gave her shoulder a squeeze and pushed her in the direction of the forest.

"This is silly," mumbled Arial. She turned to head for home, then stopped.

What if the FDS was right and her prince was waiting for her? If she didn't show up, he'd leave. He could be a gnome king or a dwarf elder. Those were always good choices. Her sister had married a half gnome, half dwarf and she was very happy.

But... what if he were a goblin king? She shuddered at the thought. Goblin kings were disgusting, mean, and nasty creatures. They never wiped their noses, picked their teeth with toe bones, and demanded their brides cook worm stew. That thought almost made her turn and run, but the gnome, dwarf or halfling made her push on. She would bravely see what fate had in store for her.

She trudged through the forest thinking of all the jewels, pretty dresses and parties she would attend once she and her true love were married. But when she stepped out of the trees, there was no one there. She eyed the forest surrounding the clearing. There was no sign of her prince charming.

Maybe he's running late, she thought, sitting down on a large stump. She smoothed her wings, fluffed her hair, then clasped her hands together and placed them neatly in her lap. He probably stopped to pick her a bouquet of flowers.

Arial waited a long time. The sun was going down and her backside was numb when she finally decided to leave. "Okay. That's it. I've had enough."

Branches snapped somewhere in the forest. She gasped and hurried back to the stump. This was it! Her stomach flip-flopped with excitement. There was more snapping, followed by crunching and thumping.

Out of the trees stomped Ogden (or Oggie) the ogre.

Arial's heart rose in her throat. She gripped the edge of the stump out of fear of falling over in shock. Oggie the ogre was her perfect match? This couldn't be happening. I fell asleep. That's it. It's a bad dream, she thought, and pinched her arm hard. "Wake up. Wake up."

Pain seared through her arm. This was definitely real.

Technically, he was a prince; his father was king of the ogres, but Oggie held no title. He was known far and wide for his lazy, clumsy and selfish ways. The ogre tripped over a root, grunted, and adjusted his stained tunic.

Not that long ago, he had "accidentally" leveled half his village when he created a bonfire one night because his toes were cold. He kicked it in his sleep sending embers flying everywhere. Hut after hut went up in flames, but the ogre slept on until he was bonked over the head several times salted melons by the other ogres. His father had taken away his princely status after that. The big oaf refused to change his ways and became an outcast.

"Stop right there," she shouted, throwing her hands in the air. "Turn around and go back where you came from."

Oggie waved a green leaf in the air. It matched the leaf Tansy had stuffed in her pocket. "You are my perfect match," said the orgre. "We will be married and have a perfect life. When father sees this, I will get all that is rightfully mine."

"No. You are not my perfect match and we most certainly will not be married," said Arial, hopping off the stump.

"The fairy promised. I gave her one of father's golden eggs in exchange. She said you are my perfect match," said Oggie, stomping over to her. "We will be married."

Arial's eyebrows came together in confusion. "What fairy?"

Oggie turned and pointed to the clump of trees he had come from. "Her."

Tansy stepped out from behind a bramble bush and crossed her arms. A scowl replaced the sweet, friendly smile from earlier. "Prettiest fairy in all the land. Bah! Now you will be the prettiest fairy in the ogre village. Have a nice life, Arial."

"Tansy, wait," called Arial. Tansy disappeared into the forest without a glance backward.

Without warning, Oggie scooped Arial up into his arms. "You are mine now. Father will be so proud. We will have a big family with lots and lots of ogre-fairy babies."

"Fairy-ogre babies? No way. Not on your life, you giant dolt." Arial kicked her feet, pushed down on the ogre's hand with all her might and fluttered her wings harder than she ever had before, but it was no use. The ogre was ten times her size and far stronger. Arial slumped over his fingers in despair. Oggie happily strolled back into the forest with his new bride.