Watching you

I'll just sit here and watch...

Evening untangles itself from the day
and there you sit hunched
whispering smoke into an ashtray
building a fortress of cd's
shattered jigsaw pieces of life, once yours
now losing themselves in time
Me, with chair pulled close
near to the television
uninterested, but hoping
feigning pleasure in nothingness
Times like these
I know which songs you will play

In the twinkling Christmas lights that
must surely bring on headaches
I see you, concentrating
scribbling down thoughts
letters, words
inspiration drained from bottles
(over zealous attempts at love
will seize their chance)
and bellyaches are never far away

I'll go to bed soon, its nearly time
But I always know, have always known
where to find your words when I wake, always before you
hidden between the books
on scrappy bits of envelopes and paper
And I'll rub your back when you vomit
sick from your own words, too many feelings
Stolen time from what
should have been ours
I'll read those words while waiting
for the kettle to scream hot in the morning
and you know what?
I'll still not undersand