I cannot Tell a Lie

I'd be lying if I said
that my name is Fritz
and that with Helga
I dined at the Ritz.

On the contrary, I hve
to scrimp and save
and cook my meals
in the microwave.

I can honestly tell you
that my name is Luigi
but it's a bald-faced lie
that my home is in Fiji.

I may want to impress
but, as hard as I try,
I always fail miserably:
I cannot tell a lie.