Forward Re-Write: The Promotion

After some talks with an editor, I've decided to go back and re-write a story I wrote about a year back. Here is the introduction. I'd love any feedback on the direction, pacing, etc. Thanks as always for reading, and hope you enjoy. 

Forward

The Promotion

The red neon sign at the 7-11 showcased the latest in a wave of synthetic cancer cures. It blinked on and off, bright, in the shadows cast by buildings that had reduced the rays of the sun to nothing more than echoes of reflections. Dom watched the smooth octagonal pavement move beneath his feet, and listened to the quiet hum of the electric cars speeding past. He nearly knocked a man into the road, but was saved at the last minute by a warning sensor blazing orange in the corner of his eye.

     Earlier that morning he had been promoted to head of foreign accounts at one of the most prestigious banking companies in Midway. The thought of it all was still so intoxicating, and even the gaudy advertisements swinging above the shops seemed to celebrate his accomplishment. Stone monoliths reached towards the heavens on all sides, but rather than oppressive, they felt light and joyous.  

     The promotion had come with a salary bump, a handshake, and a strange translucent card, with a silver triple helix in the middle. When bent in what little light filtered down to street level, it revealed the words Future Solutions.

     “Trust me, you’re going to love it,” his manager had said. “Just head down Main for about fifteen blocks. You’ll know the place when you see it.”

     Dom had expected to be taken down to the Daylight district or something more characteristic of the corporate crowd, but the mystery intrigued him. While the thought of forgetting his family for a while in the arms of some synthetic that looked more human than he did sounded appealing, the card continued to draw him forward. It was strange to be on the streets in the middle of the day. Usually he was in the office until well after the sun had set, and he made a point to savor what little time off he had.

     Fifteen blocks was no great distance, especially with the ground beneath propelling him forward with each step, but it was enough to forget for a moment. He remembered back to a simpler time, before sunlight had become something only the powerful could enjoy. Maybe I’ll get a second filtration level office. It was a nice thought, but unlikely. Two levels of filtration would mean that he would have to be at least a hundred stories up. Even so, the thought of light being only two reflections away was nice.  

     Dom was jerked out of his own thoughts by the sight of massive building jutting up from the center of the road a block away. The street bent around it in a circle, as if afraid to come near its base. The front was adorned with a massive glass sculpture of the same triple helix from the card, spiraling up past the tops of the highest buildings, and refracting rainbows onto the pavement. A sign above a large revolving door read Future Solutions.

     The streets were hot, and Dom felt a shock of cool air as he stepped through the door. White light blinded his eyes as he entered a room adorned floor to ceiling in marble. The air conditioning caused his skin to prickle, and sent a pleasant chill across his back. “Sorry about that. It can take a minute to get used to it all. Are you alright?”

     Dom blinked and found that he was staring into a pair of deep green eyes. For a moment he was lost in them. The woman smiled politely and handed him a clipboard. He looked down and read Welcome to Future Solutions, where your destiny is only a few thoughts away…