Teeth Tales: Ernie's Terrible Teething

The first one came early at only twelve weeks, 
long and sturdy with serrated peaks that 
frightened the cat, so that when Ernie grinned 
while breaking wind, the cat took flight and was 
often absent until the following night.

The second tooth followed after a couple of days 
and seemed to change colour, through various 
greys, to a frightening white that dazzled the dog 
and made him engage in monologue so strange, 
that Ernie and his mum moved well out of range.

Tooth number three arrived during the night 
and was the cause of such delight that Ernie's 
grin lit up the house and caused a feasting mouse 
to abandon the cheese and watch Ernie dribble 
as he nibbled at his cot with new found ease

With tooth number four came painful uproar as
Ernie let rip at full throttle, shattering the peace
with alarming caprice and hurling his bottle at
Bernice, the family's white rat who, being fat, 
was incapable of dodging the oncoming splat

With four sturdy gnashers and new found belief
baby Ernie could now leave gashes, biting down
hard wherever he chose, brief encounters with 
those things to hand that could best test his bite  
like earlobes and fingers and his mum's cellulite.

At six months of age young Ernie's teeth were 
a fearsome sight to behold, rampant choppers, 
absolute whoppers that not only frightened the
cat, but made the nurse curse when he shredded
her purse and dismembered her favourite hat

By the time he was one, something had to be done
because Ernie had gone too far, the dog had gone 
blind, the nurse had resigned and the cat, now a 
distant memoir, had been tentatively nibbled and  
dribbled upon during a contretemps rather bizarre

So they solved their dental puzzle by making him a
muzzle which he wore until old enough to learn, 
that to bite the hand that feeds breeds a growing 
introspection by those in need of effective protection
from the ever present issue of subdermal infection

Audio version by Makis

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Image by Freepik