Twenty Million Five Hundred Eleven Thousand One Hundred Forty-nine

One thousand five hundred and twenty nine products to clean your sink

Five thousand, two hundred and seven brands of toothpaste

I am not satisfied.

Two hundred and sixty thousand syrups to flavour your coffee

Sixteen thousand, eight hundred and seventy five variations on a theme of puffed wheat

I am bored.

Two hundred and ninety four shades of magnolia under one neon-strip

Three thousand and sixty nine point five options for sliced white bread

I am bothered.

Eighty two thousand, one hundred and fourteen delicious swiss rolls

Ninety nine point two six point three recurring items of minced white fish

Does this bother you?

Twenty nine to the power of five quick and easy methods for the removal of unsightly body hair

Nine hundred and forty seven lotions to restore that soft youthful glow

I am abrasive.

Five hundred thousand and sixty five choices of reconstituted potato

Four thousand and twenty seven point one laboratory engineered bouquets to fragrance your air

I could weep.

Seven thousand and forty eight point one PIN numbers later

I am still standing.

Bereft bemused

One hour sixteen minutes and twenty four point eight seconds....

Mercy!

I only want to clean my teeth

I only want a hand, held in mine

When I go to sleep