THe Devil Woman blackmail

To the tune of (the late)Marty Robbin's country
classic&;#8230;..Devil Woman

Devil Woman Blackmail

I'll tell the tax man about you.
I'll tell him about your great sin.
You've been moonlighting Fridays at Woolies.
While raking the girocheques in.
If they ask me how much you've plundered.
I'll say I couldn't guess.
All I know is that,
You've been getting fat,
Fiddlin' the DHSS.

Chorus.

Devil woman,
Devil woman, You're to blame.
Seems you fill in all the forms,
and they pay every penny you claim.

Interest relief on your mortgage,
For your fictitious house.
While you tell the man at the Social,
You're poorer than the poorest church mouse.
Family allowance for six children,
While you really have none.
If they ask me now,
I will tell them how,
They've been stitched up and done.

Chorus repeat.

You claimed for your hamster and budgie,
Six pigeons, two dogs and a cat,
Pension rights for your granny,
They even agreed to pay that.
If it goes to a public tribunal,
It may well all end in tears,
If they ask you how,
You are claiming now,
When Gran's been dead twenty years.

Chorus Repeat

You claim for your aged auntie.
Dependant Relative
Seems she needs the help of a home help
All the help a home help can give.
But if they studied your case very closely
You might just have to explain
How you put all of it
As a deposit
On your timeshare in Spain.

You tell them your husband is injured.
Invalidity claim,
He keeps staggering and falling over
But really it's the booze to blame.
When they added that to your giro,
He gave you a whopping big kiss,
Then gave one big cheer
Blew it all on beer
One night out on the ........

Devil woman,
Devil woman, I don't care.
You can claim just what you like
Long as I get my fair share....!!