Bo-Bo's On The Job

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Business was slow in the village from time to time and in the quite
times there were always sales and giveaway prizes to help business
along .
Some shop owners hired men and women dressed up in strange outfits and
some others placed flashing signs and window dressers .

Bo- Bo was one of those people who could turn his hand to anything and
could see the need out there and a possibility of making some money in
the process . So he proposed to a few of the shop owners in town that
their business could use some signs out the front . The idea was to use
the element of surprise tactics . Bo-Bo explained that placing a sign
on their front windows might pay dividends . He made the point that
there was always a regular passing parade and that he could design and
paint some interesting messages on the window it may just attract the
custom they needed .
So because Bo-Bo worked at a very modest fee he got the job as the
community sign-writer and advertising specialist .
With six shops to do immediately Bo-Bo was going to need some help
.

Bo-Bo went to look for Charlie who was always glad to help Bo-Bo
.
It didn't take that long to find him . There was Charlie walking like a
cat along the top of the school wall .
Bo-Bo crept up quietly without Charlie seeing him and said in a strange
errie voice .

"Ooohh Charlie please don't fall . I'm the ghost of the old school wall
."

Charlie screamed and leapt about three feet into the air and down on to
the ground right in front of Bo-Bo who grabbed him tightly and said
.

"Now I've got you Charlie. "

"Aahh Jeazus Bo-Bo you scared the blinking daylights out of me !"
Charlie screamed .

Bo-Bo said ,
"Don't tell me you're one of those who believe all those stories about
the ghost of the old school wall are you Charlie ?"

Charlie went white and his bottom lip began to quiver . He looked into
Bo-Bo's face and said ,
"What ghost ?"

Bo-Bo tried to keep a straight face and said ,
"You mean you don't know about the ghost of the old school wall
."

Charlie was really worried now and said .
"Na na na ah no ."

Bo-Bo gave him a slap on the back and laughed and said ,

"Charlie come on and wise up . We've got some painting to do ."

They made their way to Christies hardware shop and picked up some
painting supplies .

Then Bo-Bo put Charlie to work cleaning each of the shop windows while
he put together some signs with a set of colour arrangements for each
of the six shops on the front of the road .

The opticians, The Bakers , The photographers, The bank , the tackle
and bait shop and the music store all wanted something to attract some
custom .
The first thing to be done was to clean all the shop windows .
Charlie continued to rant and rave as usual , talking a mile a minute
about things that had nothing to do with the job at hand .

"Do you think Mrs Fagan has a problem Bo-Bo . She always tells me to
stop picking the leaves off her tree . Its not even me who does it and
its not her tree anyway . It used to belong to Micky who lives next
door to Sketer's uncle Micky . I remember the night Spider dug that
tree out one night when Micky was asleep and planted it in Mrs Fagan's
garden . When Mrs Fagan got up the next morning she told everybody it
had always been there ."

Bo-Bo just smiled and said .
"Don't worry Charlie next time you see her tell her you'll stick the
leaves back on for her in the spring ok ?"

Charlie seemed happy with that and taking a deep breath he said .
"Ok . Right then . Here I'll tell you another thing Bo-Bo . Do you know
Tiddles, the milk mans cat ? Well she got killed crossing the road the
other day . It got hit by the milk truck and when he tried to stop
hundreds of milk bottles fell off the truck and smashed all over the
street ."

"Well there's no use crying over spilt milk Charlie. "
said Bo-Bo who stopped and asked for a bucket of soapy water from Mrs
Muldoon who lived in the corner house of the street they were on .
Bo-Bo turned to Charlie and handed over the bucket and chamois and said
.

" Charlie take this and clean all the glass windows of ht shops on this
list . Then dry them with the chamois cloth ok . I'll be back as soon
as I have written all the ideas for the signs ".

Before Charlie had the chance to ask and questions Bo-Bo was off like a
flash towards the club .

After a while Bo-Bo returned to the front of the road to find Charlie
washing every single shop window . Bo-Bo stood there for a moment an d
watched Charlie furiously at work . Inspecting the glass up and down
then side to side and wiping the chamois now and then .

"What the heck are you doing Charlie ?"
asked Bo-Bo .

"Cleaning the shop windows like you asked me "
Charlie replied .

"That's very good Charlie but I never asked you to do the entire road
."
Bo-Bo said .

"Oh I know but when I cleaned the ones you asked me to do all the
others looked so dirty I had to clean them . Don't you think its looks
good ?"
Said Charlie .

"Sure Charlie they look great ."
Bo-Bo said not wanting to say the wrong thing .
Then he handed Charlie three pieces of cardboard with the signs for the
Opticians job , the bakers and the tackle and bait shop and the he
slowly said
"Charlie copy what I have written on these bits of cardboard on to the
front window of each shop . Use these colours I've set out . I'm going
off to begin painting the windows of the Music Store , the
photographers and the bank . If you have any problem just come and see
me . Ok Charlie ? "

Charlie nodded his head and started to look at each of the job cards
one after the other . Charlies signs were small and simple .
All he had to do was use the stencil and write down the three messages
on three windows . Bo-Bo had put a lot of thought into the signs
.
The photographers sign said

" Have your families and loved ones shot and hung by a professional
"

The bank sign read ,
High-Ho-Silver
Some will. Some won't . Some do. Some don't. We might . It won't hurt
to ask the man with the mask . See the Loan arranger .

The novelty sign for the music store said ,

If you have come and I was gone then I may have gone Chopin
but I'll be Bach In A Minute

Bo-Bo sign for the opticians would cover the entire window . In giant
letters would be one word Optometrists , then underneath that big word
in very small letters would be a message that said
Special Notice
If you have stopped and took notice of this notice then you will
probably notice that this notice probably isn't worth noticing . But if
you do notice the small print here on this notice then don't take any
notice of this notice . Otherwise come inside and have your eyes
checked for free .

The bakers sign would simply read ,
Did you smell our lovely buns .

The last shop window sign out the front of the bait and tackle shop
said .
Our worms are so alive they'll make you wriggle .

Eventually Bo-Bo had finished his three jobs and took and step back to
have a look . People gathered around and took notice of the new signs .
The sho keepers were very pleased with the work and paid Bo-Bo for his
time .
Further on up the road there was a large crowd around the shops that
Charlie had done . Bo-Bo could hardly believe his eyes when he looked
at the three shop[ windows .

Instead of writing Optometrists Charlie had put Optimists .
No wonder the sign was drawing in peoples attention . Not only did he
get the opticians sign wrong but somehow Charlie had got the other two
shops mixed up . The Bait and Tackle shop had Did you smell our lovely
bums .
and the Bakers had Our worms are so alive they'll make you wriggle
.

Bo-Bo looked at Charlie who stood posing for some photos .
He looked over and caught his eye and motioned him to come over .
Charlie looked so proud and said ,
"Isn't it great Bo-Bo . Those nice people wanted to take a picture of
me in front of all the signs I did ".

"Jeazus Charlie what you've done ."
Said Bo-Bo .

"Yea I know . Aren't they great Bo-Bo".
Replied Charlie .

"Charlie . You're missing the point . Its all a big blinking mess .
You've got the bakers sign on the bait and tackle shop and you've
misspelt buns . Its not bums Charlie its lovely buns Charlie . Not
bloody bums Charlie .
Its bloody buns . "

Charlie smiled for a minute and then the smile ran away from his face
.
His bottom lip started to quiver and he went red in the face . Almost
lost for words Charlie said softly ,
"Do you think people will notice ?"

Bo-Bo said ,
" Oh no Charlie no one will notice . That's if they're blind . Only if
they're
blind and half as daft as you . Charlie look at the bakers window . If
people see that we're dead meat . Look at it Charlie . Our worms are so
alive they'll make you wriggle . Good God Charlie quick clean
everything you did off ."

"Clean it all off Bo-Bo."
Replied Charlie .

"Every last word Charlie "
said Bo-Bo .

"With what."
Said Charlie .

"Pink paint Charlie "
Bo-Bo said .

"Ok I'll just go and get some Bo-Bo ."
Bo-Bo was stunned that Charlie was as thick as that but then thought
that he was inspired by what he had just said . If he painted pink
paint over what Charlie had done it might be a nice background to his
message that he could scroll over the top of the pink .

In the end it all worked like magic .
Everyone was happy .Bo-Bo and Charlie got paid and with the success of
new custom all the other shopkeepers wanted their windows done as well
.

By Paul McCannÓ

THE END