Psycho Boy

I knew I was dead before my eyes opened. The acrid smell of burning
brimstone filled my nostrils. The searing pain from laying on burning
rock cooking my flesh ripped my eyes open. I saw nothing but glowing
flames and shadows.

Death is not the release I longed for. My life was miserable but this
horror is mind numbing. Why did I do it? Why did I go to that concert?
Despite the unrelenting pain and heat I remember what drove me to this
hell?

"Josh, what's up?" A bouncy blond haired boy said with enough
happiness in his voice to make you throw up.

I was determined to get him today. "Dude, you are the freak of the
week. Most people think I'm a freak at this school but you take first
prize man. You and your twelve pound bible and your "Jesus Loves You"
shirts and your fake, "Josh, what's up?" You are the biggest hypocrite
in this town. All you want is to get me to go to that damn revival so
you can get some kind of Nazi merit badge. Back off, you "do gooder"
I'm a lost cause." My voice was loud and biting and several people in
the hall stopped to listen as I laid into Kevin.

"Hey, Josh, I'm sorry if I offended you. Just want you to know Jesus
and go to heaven." Kevin said with a lot less confidence.

"I don't need your Jesus and I don't care where I go after I die as
long as it's not anywhere near you or this freaking school!" I slammed
my locker closed and walked off to science class with fifty pairs of
eyes on me. There were a lot of whispers and some pretty loud comments
like, "He's flipped out!" and "He's probably on something." I didn't
care. None of them were my friends. I have no friends at Jefferson High
School. In fact, I have no friends at all. Expect for maybe Mrs.
Fields. That is if science teachers can be counted as friends.

Mrs. Fields was the best teacher in the school. Without a doubt she
was the best teacher I ever had. Her classes were interesting and fun.
She genuinely cared about all of us. She did not favor the rich, the
famous or the beautiful. She loved us all equally. Her only problem was
that she was a Christian and she actually believed that a God created
the world and everything on the Earth. Imagine a science teacher that
is a creationist! Remarkable.

"Josh, I enjoyed reading your paper last night on Evolution. Very good
job. You are a very promising writer and you support your work with
good research. I'm proud of the work you have been doing lately and you
have shown a lot of improvement this semester. Did you know you
currently have a B+ average?" Mrs. Fields said as she smiled at
me.

My heart was bursting with pride. She had said this loud enough for
the whole class to hear. "No way! B+?that's awesome! Thanks, Mrs.
Fields."

"No, Josh?thank you." She said as she continued to hand out the graded
papers.

After an exciting class on electricity and some really great classroom
demonstrations the bell rang. I never failed to be surprised at how
fast science class seemed to fly by.

"Josh, will you stay for a moment." Mrs. Fields asked me as I was
filing out of class.

As everyone left the room Mrs. Fields looked me straight in eyes and
said, "You know how proud I am of you for your work and you also know
how much I respect your opinion but do you really believe we are
descended from primates?"

"Mrs. Fields, I don't believe in much of anything. Science is pretty
solid stuff so I just go with what I find on the Internet and in our
books. I know you believe God created us but I just can't see how there
can be a God in charge of this messed up World." I said with honesty
because I knew Mrs. Fields respected honesty.

"Josh, you yourself, are proof enough to me that there is a God who
loves us and has created us. You are bright and such a wonderful
person. Only a good Creator could have made such a fine creature as
Josh Simonton." Mrs. Fields said with a huge smile. Kevin "the hallway
Apostle" could take some lessons from this lady.

"Thanks for the compliments but I'm thinking its all just genetics. I
sure didn't get it from my parents probably just some recessive genes."
I was happy that I was able to use some science humor.

"Josh, you are funny and a fine young man. I know about some of your
family situation. If you ever want to talk to someone you know I'm
always available. Also, if you want you can come to Church with our
family this weekend if you are interested?" Mrs. Fields never seemed to
give up hope that one of these times I was going to say yes.

"I can't Mrs. Fields, I have too much science homework." Another slick
response spoken through a grin.

"Alright then but remember. Only one of us is right. All my theories
need is a little faith. Your theories require an awful lot of faith."
Now she had the big grin.

"Touch?, Mrs. Fields. Have a good weekend." I turned to leave.

"God loves you Josh Simonton." She had told me that at least 5 times
this year.

I threw my arms up and said, "What's not to love?" She laughed at my
prideful humor.

Leaving her classroom and entering the hallway was like leaving a
beautiful sunny meadow for a dark alley full of snakes and mad dogs
waiting to attack. Everybody just stared at me and moved to the side as
I past. Even the jocks didn't mess with me. They called me "Psycho" and
poked fun at me from a distance. Every once in a while one of them
would get brave and start coming my way. I would put on my best lunatic
face with eyes bulging and give him the sign of a Romanian hex. I would
hiss and spit and start speaking in weird languages (it was just some
Klingon I had learned from watching Star Trek). They would always back
off and dared not challenge me again. I had made it all the way through
most of the tenth grade without so much as a finger being laid on me.
Sometimes it pays to be a "psycho."

I was going to have a good weekend. Dad was out of town on business
and Mom is a push over. I was going to do some serious hacking from my
computer and watch lots of late night TV. Saturday night is the big U2
concert. I've got to get myself a ride.
That's the only bad thing about not having a car or any friends-it
makes transportation a big hassle. I could go with the "Potheads" from
next door but those guys are going to be unbelievably stoned after the
concert. Maybe I can convince them to let me drive? Yeah, that's the
ticket?

Friday night and Saturday afternoon crawled by but at least I
confirmed the ride with "Cheech and Chong" from next door. It was 7PM
when I went to their house and they were already stoned. They always
offer me some but I tell them I have asthma and can't smoke. "Bummer,
dude," is their standard reply.

The concert is kicking! I'm there with Loser 1 and Loser 2 but hey,
it's U2 and the show is awesome. U2 just seems to get better and
better. Just like Mrs. Field's science class the concert is over before
I know it. Loser 1 and Loser 2 stumble down the stairs behind me and
follow me to the car. We had to stop at Dunkin Donuts before we got on
the freeway because they had the "munchies" bad.

With our donuts in hand, Loser 1 rocketed off in the old Chevy toward
the freeway on-ramp. He drove right through a red light and laughed
madly that he cut off an old lady in a Benz. Donut crumbs flew from his
mouth as he screamed with delight. It was then I realized I should have
stayed home.

"Dude, slow down. The cops are going to catch us." I thought
mentioning the cops would cause them to chill some.

"Cops! Where!" Chunks of donut and soda went flying onto the
windshield just as we were moving into traffic at 75 or 80 miles per
hour. He was totally freaked out and swerving all over the highway. I
remember seeing the big tractor trailer and I remember the fantastic
crashing noise. Almost immediately I started feeling the heat and
smelling the brimstone. I was burning in hell. Mrs. Fields was right
all along.

My screams woke me up. I sat straight up and the sheets clung to my
body from the sweat pouring off me. I was gasping for air. I was in my
room. My computer was flashing that it was Sunday morning about 8 am. I
had survived. Or I hadn't really gone. It was all so real. For once in
my life I was very happy about missing a U2 concert. More than that I
was happy to be alive. I had an incredible urge to be thankful and make
this second chance count. I decided I would shower and get
dressed.

After dressing I left my mom a note and made my way down the block to
Mrs. Fields house. I smelled the bacon before I even got up on the
porch. I hesitated for a second but I finally rang the doorbell.

Mr. Fields answered the door. "Josh, good morning. Mrs. Fields and I
were just talking about you."

I was surprised he remembered my name because I had only seen him when
I had mowed his yard a few times. "Talking about me? Did I do something
wrong?"

"Not at all. We were just thinking about you and wondering how you
were doing. Won't you come in?" Mr. Fields was a nice as Mrs.
Fields.

"Well if it isn't my favorite student, Josh Simonton. How are you?"
Mrs. Fields was nice even on Sunday morning.

"I'm fine Mrs. Fields. I just wanted to stop by and see if I could go
to Church with you this morning." I said.

"Ah ha! I knew my creation theory was wearing you down!" She said with
a big smile.

"Actually, it was a U2 concert and a really big truck?I think." I said
remembering the incident or dream or whatever it was.

"Please come have breakfast with us and tell us all about it." Mr.
Fields said.

I ate three pancakes, 6 pieces of bacon and two glasses of milk. Mrs.
Fields pancakes were delicious. They were very interested in my story
and told me that they believed me.

"Josh, what do you think about God now?" Mrs. Fields asked.

"I'm not really sure but I think He is trying to tell me something." I
said with certainty.

"What He has told us all is that He loves us very much and gave His
Son Jesus for us. Jesus died for us all and He wants us to live with
Him forever in Heaven and not in that place you described." Mrs. Fields
always had a way of putting complicated things in such a way so that
everybody could understand them.

"So how do I keep from going to hell when I die?" I asked
earnestly.

"You ask Jesus to forgive you of your sins and to come and live in
your heart. It's as simple as that. No magic. Just God's love and
forgiveness. Would you like to do that now? You can pray with Mrs.
Fields and I right here at this table." Mr. Fields said with love
beaming from his eyes.

"Yes. I would like that very much."

We prayed and I felt the course of history change. I felt that I would
never experience that horrible place of my dreams. I felt the weight of
my sins lifted from me. Light, love and joy rang throughout my body. My
heart was floating and my soul was singing. Mrs. Fields cried with
joy.

We went to Church and I absorbed it all. The music, the Bible stories,
the love. I was on cloud 9 and not coming down anytime soon.

Jefferson High won't know what to think of me on Monday. It will take
them a few days to realize I've really changed. I'm just going to be
myself and use the "Mrs. Field's" approach of "loving them all into
heaven."