Looking Back

Now I remember how it felt
When I was waiting for your next letter.
The time went so slowly
I wanted to fill my days with things to do
I tried to do my work
But I would read books
Because you had introduced me to the joy of reading a novel
(I'd never read one before)
Of getting inside the author's head.
I read Laurie Lee
But not just 'Cider With Rosie'
I read the others about Spain and the Civil War.
This must be when I started my habit of reading
Lots of books by one author.
I sort of get stuck.
It happened with Somerset Maugham, too,
After you told me to read 'Cakes and Ale'.
And later with Barbara Kingsolver
And now John Irving.
But it all started then at college
Because I wanted to impress you.
It was a good habit to catch
But not when I was supposed to be reading
The books for my degree.
So reading helped me
while I was was waiting for your next letter
So did writing my next letter to you
(Sometimes I wrote three in a week)
So did listening to Gene Pitney singing
'Nobody Needs Your Love More Than I Do'.
And it didn't matter that it was a corny song.
It feels the same now, because you're not here.
But then I knew a letter would come soon.
And we would meet up again before very long.
I don't have that now.
So it hurts even more than it did then.