I wish I’d asked if you were ok

You asked me for a drink

But I said I was too tired

Now every day I regret that decision

I envisage us around a table

Empty glasses, laughter, honest conversations

I ask you if you are ok

Why oh why did I not ask you if you were ok

Now a photo of you and I are framed on my bedside table

We look happy but painfully thin

What a smile can hide

I knew you struggled like me

But I’d never imagine you’d do that

Never thought you were crying out so deeply

That you were hurting more than anyone could imagine

When your picture came up in the news I felt sick

You were missing, police were concerned for your welfare

I tried your phone but it was off

I tried txting in the desperate hope I could somehow save you

Deep down I knew, I knew you were gone 

And when they found your body I couldn’t even cry

I was so numb

I have so many questions I want to ask you

I just wish I knew why

And I can’t help seeing that coffin

Imagining your lifeless body taken far too early

If I could, I’d tell you you were worth it

I’d tell you you were loved and you meant something

I’d put my arms around you and wipe away your tears

But all I can say now is be free my dear friend

Now your pain is gone and you are soaring with the birds

You will be forever young and never grow old

And you will forever be my friend, one I’ll never, ever forget