Brainmelt

There had never been a place nor a time so tranquil as this. The Garden of Eden come real and come true. Do your best to picture it, for to do so will surely quieten the worries and concerns that plague your mind. I will describe it for you.

Green. Green. Very green. There you are. Speckles of colour here and there in amongst the thick green, flowering plants of such vibrancy. Smatterings of chatterings from all manner of creatures, many which, long ago, had left the land that used to be here - feigning extinction to escape the pressures and troubles imposed upon them by humans - now offer a terrifically transcendental score. The air, oh you must understand about the air! Crisp and thick with quality. Each breath a testament of the earth's power to maintain its hygiene. Exceedingly fresh and delightfully tasty is this air.

This place, this paradise, was allowed to build itself once more because of that day decades ago. That day when a chapter of the most intelligent of the great apes chose which of them would be their chapter leader. The outcome of the outcome had been predicted by just one individual. On Thursday 12th December this ape - slightly further than some but slightly less furry than others - scrawled on the door of a toilet cubicle these prophetic words..."Our heads will explode if Boris gets in". On Friday the 13th, at 9 o'clock in the morning as millions of these apes began their daily toil, the announcement came through. Smart phones and smart tablets and the smartest of computers buzzed and beeped the notification "Boris Johnson elected Prime Minister of Great Britain.". As the information was processed, corpses began to pile up. Brains had exploded, and littering all sorts of floors were all sorts of headless bodies.

A mass extinction of incredulity. The great brainmelt. Goodbye NHS, hello hypercapitalism, come on in head explosion.

Thus, our eden was created.