Sausage (Episode18 - The Further Chronicles of a Young Lady (and her Maid))

Continued from Episode 17 - Search

The story so far:  Gwladys and Aefelthrith have started a new life running a pawn shop, formerly owned by 'Anty Marj', who they managed to convince they were distantly related to.  'Anty Marj', after some typical twists and turns, was persuaded to sell by receiving Aefelthrith's precious ring and went away a happy woman.  Meanwhile, Gwladys engaged a young urchin, 'Arry, to help clear the back garden of weeds, as a means of giving him a bit of income to support his poorly mother and avoid him either going down the pit or up the chimney, much to Aefelthrith's displeasure. Unfortunately, his digging produced a skull, about which  Gwladys swore him to secrecy and quiickly buried the evidence, which gave them a breathing space, until Sergeant Argent of the Watch appeared in the shop.  Fortunately, he was not pursuing his enquiries but was, to her extreme shock and horror, pursuing Aefelthrith, romantically.  Meanwhile, 'Arry revealed that his Mam said the place had always been a shop BUT Anty Marj had originally had a partner, thought to be her sister, whose name was Sarah, who had disappeared.  Coincidentally, Sarah was the name that Gwladys had told Anty Marj was the name of their shared relative.  With this news, Gwladys tried  to persuade Aefelthrith to go out with Sergeant Argent so that they could find out more, to which she eventually agreed but only with the proviso that Gwladys should serve as chaperone.  On their 'date', Sergeant Argent regaled Aefelthrith with tales of the town, much to Gwladys's frustration but he knew nothing about the history of the shop, then Constable John confirmed that there had been a 'Sarah' but that she had disappeared.  Eager to show off his skills of detection, Sergeant Argent insisted on mounting an investigation.  The following day, the Sergeant and his Constable began their search of the premises and were only diverted from digging up the garden by some quick thinking on the part of Aefelthrith.  Meanwhile, Gwladys was surprised to find a rather familiar, and flamboyant, 'sea captain' in the shop:

 

At the same time that Gwladys was dealing with her unexpected visitor, in the shop, Aefelthrith was answering some persistent and determined knocking at the back door of the property.

She opened the door, which led onto the street behind, and was surprised to find no-one there.  She was about to close the door again, putting it down to children playing tricks, when a voice from around about her knees addressed her:

“I’m ‘ere abaht the sossij” It said.

Aefelthrith looked down at a very small, very scruffy and decidedly dirty, infant.

“What did you say?”

“I sed” The child began, with obvious impatience, “that I’m ‘ere abaht the sossij”

“The sausage?”

“Yeah, that’s it” The child looked pleased to have finally broken through the communication barrier.

“Sausage?” Aefelthrith said again.

“Yeah,” The child sighed, this clearly was not going to be as easy as he had hoped.

“You are aware that this is not an eating establishment” Aefelthrith sniffed, and then instantly regretted it.

“It’s norrawhat?” The child frowned.

“WE DO NOT DO FOOD” Aefelthrith pronounced slowly and clearly.

“Yeah, I know that” The child nodded, clearly now of the opinion that Aefelthrith was a little bit simple.

“But, you came for a sausage” Aefelthrith pointed out.

“Yeah” The child nodded, “is ‘e ‘ere?”

“Who?” Aefelthrith could feel one of her headaches coming on.

“The sossij!” The child stamped a foot in frustration, “I gotta message for the sossij” He held out a scrap of neatly folded paper.

“What does it say?”

“I dunner know, can’t read, can I?”  The child shrugged.

“This is most vexing!” Aefelthrith snapped, “Who is this ‘sausage’?”

“Yer must know ‘im” The child rubbed a grubby hand through his even grubbier hair, “fat bugger, got a badge and a stick ‘round ‘is waist”

“You mean, the Sergeant?” Aefelthrith felt a little guilty at having recognised the less than complimentary description.

“Sergeant!” The child smacked his forehead, “Yeah, that’s ‘im!  It’s just…we call ‘im the ‘sossij’”

“SERGEANT?” Aefelthrith called out.

There were the sound of heavy footsteps coming down the stairs.

“Ma’am?” Sergeant Argent loomed in the hall.

“This…child appears to have a message for you” Aefelthrith backed away in distaste.  Sergeant Argent took hold of the proffered piece of paper, opened it and read the contents.

“Ah!” He said, at length.

“Bad news, Sergeant?” Aefelthrith raised an eyebrow.

“In a manner of speaking, ma’am, yes” The Sergeant sighed, “I am afraid that, myself and the Constable, have been called away on a rather more pressing case”

“Oh, how disappointing” Aefelthrith said, without a great deal of conviction.

“Any answer, is there?” The urchin asked.

“No, thank you son.  I will deal with this matter, presently” Sergeant Argent pocketed the message.

The urchin coughed, loudly and productively, and held out his hand.

“I think he’s expecting a coin or two for his troubles” Aefelthrith remarked.

“Is he?  Oh, right” Sergeant Argent rummaged in his pockets without any success. “Constable, give this child a penny for his trouble”

“A PENNY?”  Constable John clearly thought this was the height of extravagance, “’Ere, ere’s a farthin’ an’ be off with yer!” The Constable threw a coin, which the child deftly caught, and made to cuff him around the ear but the boy skipped out of the way.

“One moment!” Aefelthrith called after the departing child.

“Wassup?” He stopped and looked at her, suspiciously.

“Why do you call him, ‘the sausage’” She whispered.

“Oh, right…” The child thought for a moment, “werl, it’s on account of ‘ow ‘e looks like one what’s not been put together right”

“Oh, I see!” Aefelthrith stifled a giggle.

“You cheeky young b…” Sergeant Argent went to chase after him, but the child scampered away.

“Boys will be boys, I suppose?” Aefelthrith grinned.

“I’ll have him, one of these days,” Sergeant Argent fumed, “I SAY, I’LL HAVE THEE!” He shouted after the child, who turned and stuck his tongue out at him.

 

* * * *

 

Back in the shop, Gwladys was trying to come to terms with her unexpected visitor.

“What the ‘ell are YOU doin’ ‘ere?”  She said.

“I could ask the same question” ‘Captain d’Arbanville’ pointed out, reasonably.

“Well, worrever, yer canna be ‘ere” Gwladys shook her head, vigorously.

“Why ever not?  Surely you do not still resent…how we parted”

“Nah, nowt like that” Gwladys shook her head, again, “only, there’s two Officers of the Watch in the back there and I reckon yer wunner want to be meetin’ ‘em, eh?”

“Off…Officers of the Watch?” ‘Captain d’Arbanville’ looked panic-stricken.

“Yep, two on ‘em” Gwladys confirmed, with some satisfaction.

“In that case…I must be on my way” The ‘Captain’ started for the door.

“Thought so” Gwladys smirked.

“But…” He stopped, with his hand on the handle, “I take it Aefelthrith is still with you?”

“Yep, she’s ‘ere” Gwladys nodded.

“Can I see her?  Not…not now, of course” The ‘Captain’ rubbed his forehead, “but later, perhaps?”

“Alright, look, I’ll put a candle in the shop window if the coast’s clear but…there’s summat yer oughter know”

“What’s that?” The ‘Captain’ was half out of the door.

“Werl, it’s just that, one of them Officers in there, she’s walkin’ out with ‘im” The expression on the ‘Captain’s’ face was one that Gwladys knew she would always cherish.

As the shop door closed, in a marked manner and with a ring of the bell, the curtain behind Gwladys swept aside to reveal Sergeant Argent, Constable John and Aefelthrith, in that order.

“Off so soon, officers?” Gwladys asked, with a sense of relief.

“Regrettably, yes, ma’am” The Sergeant nodded, “I’m afraid we have been called away in pursuit of a notorious thief”

“Oh, lawks, will any of us be safe in our beds!” Gwladys said, with her hand to her mouth for full dramatic effect.

“I can assure you, ma’am, that there is no danger, whatsoever” Sergeant Argent drew himself up to his full height, “we have the matter in hand.  Moreover, the person we seek is not a brigand, a footpad or highwayman but rather a fraud, a trickster and a mountebank”

“My my, I wonder who that might be?”  Gwladys asked, with an imperceptible wink toward Aefelthrith.

You can find the previous adventures of Gwladys and Aefelthrith in both Kindle and paperback formats at The Chronicles of a Young Lady (and her Maid (link is external)