She'll Labour Night And Day* - Episode 14

* Well, it had to be, didn't it!

Getting a groaning and heavily pregnant Dolly up the stairs to the attic room was no mean feat.  ‘Parson Brown’ had his arm around his wife and steadied her, whilst Gwladys pushed from behind and Aefelthrith followed at the rear, still rather confused from her accident and by the subsequent events.

The ‘Parson’ eased his wife onto the first bed that he came to, which happened to be Aefelthrith’s.  Gwladys took command of the situation from there.

“Right, Ethel, give me one of them sheets from our bag” She commanded, “I need to tack it up around this bed to give the poor girl a bit of privacy”

Ethel did as she was told, still in a sort of trance.  “That’s my bed!” She mumbled.

“Oh, I’m sorry yer Ladyship!  Should I ‘ave dragged ‘er over to mine, is that it?”  Gwladys glared at Aefelthrith.

“No, no, ‘course not” Aefelthrith shook her head and rummaged for a sheet.

Once the screen had been put in place, Gwladys turned to the ‘Parson’ and Aefelthrith and said:

“Now then, ‘ow much do you two know about childbirth then?”

They both looked at her blankly.

“I see, down to me then is it?” Gwladys sighed, “well ‘Parson’, yer must at least know as ‘ow it got there in the first place?”

‘Parson Brown’ blushed deeply.  “Well, yes, of course” He nodded, “to a erm…certain extent”

“Right, well the main thing yer need to know about childbirth is that the baby ‘as to come out the same way as it got in” Gwladys set about washing her hands and arms, “and that can be a bit tricky sometimes”

‘Parson Brown’ looked aghast, “But…but…surely that’s not possible, is it?”

Aefelthrith looked totally confused.

“I can’t be standin’ ‘ere givin’ you two lessons, I’ve got things to do” Gwladys slipped behind the screen.  “Now then,” she said, to Dolly, “this yer first child, is it?”

“Oh yes, this is our first” ‘Parson Brown’ boomed from the other side of the screen.

Dolly, however, looked at Gwladys and shook her head.

“Not yer first?” Gwladys asked, quietly.

“No, but he don’t know about it and I’d like it kept that way” Dolly whispered, “I had a daughter, when I were not much more than a kid meself.  Me mum and dad raised her.  She thinks I’m her big sister”

“A lot of that goes on” Gwladys reassured her, “don’t worry, I’ll not say nowt.  Now then, let’s ‘ave a look at what’s what and see where we stand”

“Are you a midwife then?” Dolly asked.

“Not as such, lovey, no, but I’ve seen an’ done it all in my time, from the layin’ out of the dead to…well, this” Gwladys grinned.

After a brief inspection, Gwlady had a quiet word with Dolly and then reappeared from behind the screen to talk to the expectant father.

“Right sir” She started, “I’ve got some good news an’ some not so good news.  First off, yer not ‘avin’ a baby just this minute!”

“Oh, that’s a relief!” He sighed, “in which case, we should be taking our leave”

“Ah, now that’s the less than good news.” Gwladys shook her head, “she may not be ‘avin’ it right now, but it won’t be all that long ‘afore she is.  That bit of a jolt in the carriage must ‘ave started things off, type of thing.  Any road, she certainly ain’t fit to go nowhere, not until she’s ‘ad this baby.”

“Oh, that could be a bit awkward” ‘Parson Brown’ admitted.

“It ain’t exactly brilliant for us, either” Gwladys pointed out, “as yer may recall”

“Why should the Parson know anything about our situation?”  Aefelthrith looked puzzled.

“’Aven’t yer figgered out who this is, yet?  I reckon that bash on the bonce took what bit of sense you ‘ad!” Gwladys sighed, “this ‘ere is no more a parson than what you are!  It’s yer bloke, innit?  Captain ‘Owsyerfather!”

Aefelthrith looked from Gwladys to the ‘Parson’ with a puzzled expression.

“I’m rather afraid that Gwladys is correct, Aefelthrith” ‘Parson Brown’ admitted, removing his wide brimmed hat and revealing his features.

“Oh!” Aefelthrith gave a startled cry.

“Now we all know who we are, we’d best get summat done around ‘ere.”  Gwladys suggested,  “so, Ethel, you get some water on the boil.  Captain, you can get one of them old sheets and start rippin’ it up into squares of material, about a foot each side should do”

“Erm, why?” The Captain looked confused.

“Oh, give me strength!”  Gwladys stomped over and grabbed a sheet, “’cause I’m goin’ to need some cloths when things get a bit messy, an’ they will, an’ also so as ‘ow we’ve got summat to wrap yer offspring up in, as an’ when ‘e or she puts in an appearance!  That do yer?”

In the face of such an assault, the Captain meekly nodded and set to work.  Gwladys slipped back behind the screen to tend to Dolly, who was starting to groan again.

“Now then, lovey, ‘ow’s things?” She asked her patient.

“The pains are coming a bit more often, now” Dolly said, easing herself up on the bed, “did I hear you say that you know my bloke, just then?”

“Yer ‘usband?  Yeah, we know each other, from long ago, style of thing.  ‘E may ‘ave mentioned as ‘ow ‘e came to me an’ Ethel’s rescue earlier on?”

“Oh yes, I heard about that!  Bloody fool!  We were doing all right ‘round here.  Now we’ve got to go racing off, and me in this condition!”

“Well, I can see as ‘ow it’s not ideal for you, but ‘e got us out of a really tight spot, and we’re grateful” Gwladys explained, “which is why I’m ‘ere to ‘elp you out, in return, if yer catch my drift?”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry!”  Dolly nodded, “but you can see why I wasn’t best pleased?”

“Yeah, I know” Gwladys grinned, “do yer know much about yer ‘usband’s past then?”

“’E’s not my ‘usband, as such” Dolly whispered, “we’ve not been churched nor nothing.  More a jump over the broomstick, if you know what I mean?”

“Oh well, all comes to the same thing, don’t it?” Gwladys smiled.

“All I know is as how he was some sort of soldier.  Fell into our inn, all dripping blood and faint!  You’ve never seen such a mess!  I thought he was a goner and no mistake.” Dolly admitted, “but he come good in the end, and he’s not a bad sort, when you get to know him like”

“Sometimes, that’s as much as yer need, innit?”  Gwladys patted her hand.

There was a fearful banging on the door below.

“Yer’d better see who that is” Gwladys shouted to Aefelthrith.

“I think it might be more prudent if I go” The Captain/Parson suggested, donning his wide brimmed hat again, “it appears that we have a visitation from the Watch!”

“Oh gawd!” Dolly groaned from behind the screen.

You can find the whole story, so far, in the Collection here on ABCtales:

The Chronicles of a Lady (and her Maid)