NISHA APA

Nisha Apa

 

A Character

that deserted me never

peeping on my inner screens

again and again since my early teens

with her role play

to survive and stay

battling against odds, many

thrust upon her by cruel destiny

born and married in our village

with daughter and daughter-in-law’s
image

`compelled by the customs of early
marriage

at the teens her parents tied her in
nuptial bondage

with the son of a widow.

where son and mother duo

forming their family

as a third member joined she

with a thatched cottage to 
inhabit

two goats and a cow as assets to
their credit

but with no landed property of their
own

the wedding function burdened them
with loan

The daily earning

that her husband could bring

adding income from goats and a cow

pulled on their family somehow.

AS  then, girls had to adjust

the after-marriage thrust

cocking, and cleaning  with cow
dung spray

all other deeds house needs everyday

she did besides their livestock care

never neglecting her mother-in-law’s
welfare

not to let down the dignity of her
parents

also these, a harmonious conjugal
living  warrants

Her sweet dreams were shattered by
her cruel fate

“ Man proposes God disposes”; the
truth is ultimate

Years passed on her harmonious
conjugal journey

Together as a family overcame many
obstacles, many

but within five years

to her tragedy and tears

her mother-in-law and mother

followed by her father

succumbed to diseases, grave,

them, no talisman no village quakes
could save

but came a male child to her lap

lessening her grief as he made up the
gap

but soon came destiny’s another blow,
lethal

an epidemic abruptly ending her
conjugal life

snatching away her life partner

making life unworthy living for her

bur the innocent infant son

begged her willpower to thrive on

to fight for son’s survival in life

through trials, tribulations and
strife

the wants  of her son

coveted eyes of lustful passion

by wayward persons in the society

inflamed by her youthful beauty

that poverty and miseries left in her

while giving her a “ Beg and borrow”
stature

to make her son survive and grow

and a contented life to row.

With the infant son in her armpit

to go ahead in life she gathered the
grit

her dried breast was only a
consolation

most of the time for her crying son

a cow and two goats were her means,
meager

but these were sources to make a
living for her

Often she left her son in her
neighbor’s care

for their mercy she had to coax them
with many a prayer

Her longings for self-respect and
show of ego and anger

waned to submissive humility to face
the life, bitter

As Nisha Apa we addressed her

adoring her as a father’s cousin
sister

considering her relationships in the
village

over her parental and in-law side
lineage

As  Nisha Apa, we called her

a sweet relationship it did foster

from her a loving nurturing authority

for our good in her aids,
 honest was she.

In relationship superior and elder

was my grandmother

so as auntie she called her

by name she called my mother

as to my mother she being elder

On and off she visited our family

to my mom and grandma’s glee

as her arrival mitigated their
botheration

as she assisted them in food
preparation

At time calls, urgen

she complied it in a moment

underlying in this relationship

a barter exchange for mitigating
hardship                                                                               
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

my family needed her crafty labor

in return, her wants in her harbor.

jobs vexing and tedious

Strenuous and laborious

my mom and grandma needed her
assistance

which she provided without grievance.

Maybe the mitigation of wants, dire

by battered exchange as her hidden
desire

the mercy the love underlay in the
deal

now in the then deeds touch of
divinity I feel.

fo all household needs, tedious

her expertise and assistance were
fabulous

Plucking leaves from Monica's stem

one by one gathering  numerous
of them

cleaning micro-sized fishes

of filth and dirt for tasty dishes

grinding rice and gram by stone
wheels

for her craft skill and labor, my
heart still squeals.

To cut into our family budget

many ingredients for side dishes we
get

from our backyard garden

to collect them it was Nisha Apa’s
burden

mushrooms in rain, spinach varied

with nutritious value us, her efforts
could feed

with age and wisdom

when intricacies of life I could
fathom

her son had grown up

in the lineage setup

being to me much older

address him as my elder brother

as Dhobabhai, our colloquial call

acclaimed it he standing tall

hardly did he go to school

but in counts him none could fool.

it was poverty standing on his way

to earn from cow and goats was his
need of the day

But the earnings from livestock were
too meagre

to mitigate their poverty to make
their condition better

reminisce I their plight

for Ddhoba bhaos marriage, their
fight

to find a girl at neighboring village

and to arrange funds for the marriage

at a far-off place, a poor girl they
could locate

took a loan at an exorbitant interest
rate

the poverty continued to be a burden

I have seen it on their family
generation after generation.

Dhoba Bhai’s wife died young

came to our village and left unsung

leaving a son and daughter

for Nisha Apa and Dhoba Bhai to look
after

also left ten rupees as her hidden
treasure

perhaps over years saving from family
expenditure

Now Nisha Apa is no more

stayed she poor and died poor

Dhoba bhai is also no more

he died poor and left his offspring
poor.

Nishga Apa! Pain me the sight

you and your offspring’s fight

with pathetic tear flow

with helpless show

whe a goat is snatched away

by wolf, jackal or a man in beastly
way

tears and miseries to clear the debts

and from hoogilians painful threats.

the tearful parting as goat on sale

your love for livestock shocks me as
your woeful tale.

With smiles on your face

showing no trace

of your worries and pains in heart

For a man to tolerate miseries, learn
must he this art

Nisha Apa you are no more

to you with gratitude from heart’s
core

to our family, your services and
loyalty

your struggle to exist in bitter
poverty

command my gratitude and adoration

with many questions in me rolling on.

Gospels spell it emphatically clear

that “ This time also will disappear”

time of sufferings will not last
forever

Why is such deviation for this
character?

Nisha Apa suffered during her
lifespan

I have seen sufferings ot two more
generations of her clan.

differ gos[els on the conclusion

rebirth and fruits of action

travel of soul after body mortal

as to whether the soul is siul
immortal

Parabdha as past deeds attribute some

on this science, philosophy spiritual
luminaries are numb

Did Nisha Apa suffer for her
erroneous deeds in her last birth

As fruit of action, she suffered as a
person on the earth.

 

In the service of the Lord

P K Routray