Barricades

By PoppyS

Sat, 21 Oct 2017
  • 1740 reads
4 comments
 

Not the delicate hint of rose’s
petals curled, faded edges of brown.
Chairs scrape along the cold hard floor
people leaving before their final
curtain call.
Everyone is hustling, and bustling
towards the exit door.

Outside the gods decant the rain so
lavishly, yet my mind is set to barricade.
The dream I never dream
enters centre stage – oh, you would be
amazed at the things that don’t exist
inside my head.
Dispossession has rented a room
fused the lights and resides in gloom.
I feel like a foreigner inside my own space
can’t understand the language, so I
sign instead.

Once someone told me they carried
a dead relationship around with them,
I laughed how bizarre, yet here am I
waving to aliens in the sky.
Sometimes they take away the flowers
morning noon or night it matters not
the hours.
For they never take the blooms that died
secure inside my hand –
The bell rings – end of term let them
all go home
as once again my mind is set to barricade.
I keep no happy memories locked
inside – so there is
nothing left, to fade and die…
Written  for a close friend who suffers from severe Mental Health problems.

Certificate U
Poem
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by Ed Crane on

I found it so sad to see your note about lack of comments. However don't be disheartened, the number of comments you have been getting is pretty much the norm, quite close to average for most of us I'm afraid. Comments don't flow easily here, however from time to time we "strike gold," but it's far off a regular occurance. I am sure you will soon be getting the recognition you clearly deserve.

I have read through some of your work, I admit prompted by your question, and I feel rather bad I have not commented on it before.

For me you certainly have no reason to doubt your talent, your poetry is well written, well paced and beautifully sensitive. 

This one in particular shows you to be not only a poet with a growing talent, but also a person full of love, kindness and compassion and this will stand you well for writing your beautiful work in the future.

Best Wishes

 

 

 

Submitted by PoppyS on

Thank you SO much ED, I am not looking for praise umwarranted, just for honest reviews, so  your comments have soothed me greatly.

I do understand that comments are often like hens teeth on forums, it is just good to know I am not posting into the outer reaches of spacesmiley although maybe aliens write and read poetry ( I do hope so)!!

Once again 'thank you'.

Pops ~xx~

Writing is art in pictures – Go paint poetry!

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Hi Poppy, I was prompted to look you up by the post you put on the forum.
The first thing I have to say is that your poetry is absolutely fine. It is well crafted and the sentiments beautifully expressed. You have to bear in mind the number of entries that are submitted every day and the limited amount of time that people have at their disposal for reading and writing as well.
It also depends on preferences: some like prose as opposed to poetry, or viceversa.
The advantage, unfortunately, is with pieces that are 'cherried' or receive other accolades such as Poem/Story of the Day or Week. They receive the greater attention.
One way to stimulate social intercourse is to give comments. I've found that when I do I get feedback in return.

Best, wishes, Luigi

 

 

 

 

Submitted by PoppyS on

Thank you Luigi, I both understand and respect all you say.
I shall keep writing away, commenting on more work (I do comment) but shall try to do more.

I found your words encouraging so I am a happy bunnysmiley

Pops ~xx~

 

Writing is art in pictures – Go paint poetry!