Parallel Universes

Woman: Sorry I’m late, I got completely lost.

Man: Where?

Woman: Where was I when I was lost?

Man: Yes

Woman: Well, due to being lost, I don’t know where I was when I was lost.  If I knew where I was when I was lost, I would not have been lost, I would have been on time.

Man:  You must have come to a point where you realised you were lost, where was that?

Woman:  I don’t know, I was lost. 

Man: But you must know where you were when you got lost. 

Woman:  I have no doubt, that there is a parallel universe somewhere where people know exactly where they are even if they are lost.  Those people have no word for being lost, they have no need for it as the concept of ‘lost’ doesn’t exist.  There are no maps in that universe because everyone knows exactly where they are at any moment of the day or night.  There are no adventures, no epic poems, no stories, no holy grail, and far fewer books.  No new lands are ever discovered by being blown off course, there are no potatoes outside South America, tobacco never caught on.  Keys, children, treasure and civilisations remain consistently found.  There are no billionaires as commerce never took off, nobody ever made a fortune from tea clippers, or steamships, nobody died on the Titanic which traverses the oceans empty as nobody needs or wants to lose themselves in adventure.  There are no Jungians, Freudians or any other forms of analytic navel-gazers because the whole concept of ‘lost’ conceptual or actual simply doesn’t exist.  We do not live in that universe, which is why I do not know where I was when I was lost. 

Man:  Quantum physics has a lot to answer for.