Independent (?) Teenager

By Rhiannonw

Mon, 28 Aug 2017
  • 2088 reads
10 comments
 

Feet skid in a flurry
mind whirling, scurry, hurry
pick at pockets, poke in backpack
‘Where’s that note I wrote
at midnight? Did I pack it?
Have you seen my keys?
my mobile’s in the other jacket,
which is where? behind the chair,
oh, my shoes? (‘How can you lose
your shoes?’), Mum please?
they’re not by the door’
‘– by the desk, below,
on the floor, –
isn’t it time to go?
– skedaddle,
here’s your wallet, here’s your fiddle’
– quick reach, grasp,
zooming passed
across the garden, through the gate,
down the road, mustn’t be late
rush the station, over the bridge,
jump onto the train –

‘Good timing, again.’  

[IP this week:The Last Minute ]

 

     

 

Certificate U
Poem
Families
Humour
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by hedgehog1 on

Haven't we all been there especially in our adolescent days, relying on Mum to know where everything is. A brilliant write Rhiannon.

Edward

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Edward. Teenage years such a mixture of feeling and wanting to be independent, but needing (unobtrusive?) support! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by celticman on

mustn't be late, mustn't be late, more haste going out the gate. Good brio and energy. 

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Celt. A mother, after such morning departures can feel exhausted after watching the performance, and knowing when to sort-of help! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by airyfairy on

Oh, it brings it all back.  The keys, especially.  We have a hook by the door but he never put his keys on it.  I bought him a whistling key ring but wherever he'd put it he could never hear the whistle.  So glad that it's all his girlfriend's problem now!  (I don't think he's improved much!) 

Great rhythm and bounce to this, Rhiannon.  

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Airyfairy. Those teenage 'last minutes' can be so stressful for the watchers! My son later had a helpful roommate who tried to help his crises, and now a wife!

Learning to get ready earlier is a slow process. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by YaseminB on

a brilliant write.

Yasemin Balandi

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Yasemin. Appreciate that! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

This is kind and wise and funny. The short lines show the desperation. Can just see him sinking into the seat with a happy sigh at the end

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks again. Trouble was, having got there, still didn't see the need to be earlier next time! But learnt gradually – still learning! Rhiannon