Mixed Up Thoughts

It’s not just in stories - its real. Life. Specifically when finding out unwanted and unexpected news. I froze, still staring into the mirror no longer at anything particular. The only thing they don’t have in movies is the smile. No one can hide it. We all smile or laugh from embarrassment. But this time I held it in. It quivered around the corners of my lips but I wouldn’t let it past.
This was serious. I was literally, too stunned to think. My rough night finally almost an afterthought, this news brought on a whole new realm of emotions possibly for the first time. I don’t know if I was ready to hear it but I know I didn’t want to. I told her I didn’t want to. But she wanted me too. I don’t know what to think, or how. She told me it to make me believe in something she wanted. But I can’t afford to believe that that’s the only reason. There has to be more. At the moment I’m in no state or mood to find out and maybe I never will. The only thing I can think of is that since it will affect me later in life : “she only wants the best for me”. And maybe she does, but I know that love can change a persons mind and I’m not counting on anything.