White Phantom: Chapter Twenty Eight

Chapter Twenty Eight

After Maggie left, Beth’s head was swimming. She had so many things going around and around and couldn’t make sense of any of them. At the forefront of her mind was something that Jennifer had said on the day that she had met her. ‘Have you ever watched somebody burn?’ she’d asked, or words to that effect. Then she’d gone on to say coldly, ‘I have.’ Beth had to talk to Jennifer to find out the truth, or her warped version of it at any rate. She had to have both sides there in front of her so that she could think, but she was terrified of the showdown. How would Jennifer react to the accusations, or even to the fact that Beth had spent time alone with Maggie? It was one rule that Beth didn’t need to have hammered home. Because her friend was so sharp, she was happy to keep distance between herself and Maggie.

Jennifer was supposed to be on Colin watch but, as usual, she’d sloped off at the first opportunity. Beth was angry and frustrated. Jennifer couldn’t be trusted with the simplest of instructions. Colin may have been left unattended for hours and anything could have happened to him.

She already knew that Jennifer wasn’t there before she entered the vault, her jacket hadn’t been slung over the dowel of the stairs, but Beth called her name anyway.

Colin was awake; she could see instantly that he was more alert; his condition was improving with each awakening. He was out of danger and was going to make it. It was the best news in the world and the most damning evidence for her spending the rest of her life in prison. His head turned to stare at her as she came into the room and let the heavy vault door slam shut behind her. His eyes were wide open and fully focussed; he barely even winced with the movement of his head. Beth made a note to herself to be cautious. Even though he was restrained at ankle and wrist, he could still be dangerous. She had only added the ankle cuffs that day as he’d become more alert and unpredictable. As she fastened the metal ankle cuffs to the bed he realised, for sure, that Beth was not a prisoner alongside him, but his captor.

‘Hello Col, how are you feeling?’

‘Beth.’ It was a hostile greeting. They were like two family members meeting up at a mutual friend’s Birthday party after a bitter row. If only Beth could just apologise and offer him a vol au vent and let that be an end to it. Beth approached the side of his bed cautiously. She saw that both of his wrists had deep welts in them and were bleeding. He’d said one word, but she heard that his voice was raw from shouting. She busied herself getting dressings to seal and protect his wrists from further damage. The silence between them was deafening.

‘There’s no point in screaming, we’re soundproofed. You need to conserve your energy.’

Colin watched her ministrations. ‘And of course there’s absolutely no point in asking you to release me from these things,’ he asked, motioning towards his bonds with his eyes. Beth bit her bottom lip and shook her head.

‘What’s going on, Beth?’

She couldn’t reply, she just looked into his eyes and hers filled with tears.

‘Well, I think it’s time we had a catch up don’t you, Beth. Call it a gossip, if you like. Now who’s going first? You? Me? I know here’s an idea, why don’t you go first. No. No, I insist. I bet you’ve got some really interesting things to tell me.’ His voice began with dripping sarcasm but rose on every word until he was thrashing his head and straining against the handcuffs. Beth took a step away from the bed. His fight was impressive and his body arched from the sheet. He turned from side to side, his voice ragged with pain and his language was foul. He was weak and quickly spent himself. He flopped back onto the pillow, exhausted. ‘Talk to me, Beth, at least make me understand what the fuck’s going on here. How did a nice person like you turn into an evil bitch?’

Beth was crying openly now. She was too choked up to speak and even if she could there was nothing that she could say to make this mess any better.

‘Okay, don’t bother telling me why I’m handcuffed to a bed in some kind of fucking dungeon, and my ex-missuses’ best mate is torturing me, let’s start with something easy and we’ll come back to that big stuff in a second. Keep that fucking psycho kid away from me, okay? She’s been back, you know.’

Beth’s eyes widened but still she didn’t say anything.

‘She came creeping in just after you left. She’s mental, you do know that, don’t you? She touched me Beth. I’m lying here trussed up like a fucking Christmas Turkey, helpless and she’s there copping a feel and then flashing her underdeveloped tits at me.’

‘Oh no,’ Beth groaned.’

Come on, Beth. Let me go. You can do that, right? You can just unlock these things,’ he jiggled his wrist, ‘and get me out of here.’

Beth shook her head and looked at her feet like a naughty twelve year-old.

‘Why? Why not? Why am I here? What do you want from me? Tell me and I’ll get it. Let’s sort this and then I can get out of here and see my kids. Jesus what day is it? I don’t even know what day it is. How long have I been here?

Beth didn’t answer. She didn’t dare tell him that he’d been captive in the vault for three weeks and two days, or that there was a National appeal out for news of his whereabouts.

‘Beth let me go. You have got the keys, right? You can let me go.’

‘I can’t,’ she snuffled miserably.

‘Why?’

She didn’t answer.

‘For fuck’s sake, Beth.’ He laid his head on the pillow and closed his eyes, his brow creased in pain. Beth risked going to the bed and putting her hand on his forehead. It was cool, no fever.

‘Is the pain bad? Do you need something? I can give you morphine; it’ll help to make you comfortable.’

‘No, Beth. I don’t want fucking morphine. How the hell can I ever be comfortable when I’m stuck in the same fucking position and can’t even move to scratch my own arse? I want to go home. Please just let me go.’ Beth looked at him. There was nothing she could say and she had no answers. She’d finished dressing his wrists. The cuffs rested on thick gauze and wouldn’t do any more damage, but Beth feared that he’d carry the scars from the deep wounds for the rest of his life. She picked up a beaker and offered him a drink. She put her arm under his head and lifted it. He glared at her but accepted the straw into his mouth. He sucked up a large mouthful of the juice and then spat it square in Beth’s face.

She lowered his head and wiped her face on a cloth that was on his tray table beside the bed and then she turned and walked towards the door.

‘Wait. Beth, stop. Don’t go. Please. Don’t leave me.’

She turned and pivoted towards him. ‘I have some things to do. I won’t be long. You’re stronger now, but you’ve lost a lot of weight. I’m going to go and make you some food. Well see if you can manage a little.’ Even to her, the words sounded forced and mechanical.

‘Don’t bother. I won’t eat it. Until I get out of here I’m on hunger strike. I won’t eat anything.’

‘I’ll make it anyway. We’ll see.’

Beth?’

‘Yes,’ she answered him dully. She felt exhausted by the emotional exchange and she could see by the frown on his face that he was in pain, but she wasn’t going to force any more morphine on him. The healing process was a slow one, and she didn’t want to deprive him of his free will and choice, any more than she had done already.

‘I am going to get out of here alive, aren’t I? I’m not going to die here?’

Her reassurances went from her brain to her throat and then got stuck. She wanted to tell him that of course he was getting out. That very soon he’d be released and to try and just be patient until they worked out the details. But the truth was that she didn’t know whether Colin was ever going to be set free. She said nothing, but the look in her eyes told him that she couldn’t be sure.

‘Oh shit. Oh Jesus Christ, help me. You’re insane, you do know that don’t you?’ He struggled against the cuffs half-heartedly and then he lay back, terrified and exhausted. He squeezed his eyes shut and tears leaked from the corners and ran along the lines of the wrinkles at the side of his face. ‘Help me, Beth, please. Tell me what’s going on. You were the steady one. You kept Maggie in line. You were bright, sensible, reliable. How did you come to this?’

She went to him and took his hand. He didn’t resist and actually squeezed her palm in his, taking something, though God Knows what, from the physical contact with his captor. He carried on talking, ‘You’ve always been a good person. I just can’t get a grasp on why you’d do this to me. I’ve never done anything to you.’ He looked into her eyes. ‘We’ve got history, Beth. We’ve never said this out loud, but there’ve been moments. You know that as well as I do. That party when the kids were little, remember? You felt it too. I know you did. We were in the kitchen; you were tidying up, like you do. All you could hear was Maggie’s voice; she was on that damned karaoke machine, again. We came close to kissing.’ He had a faraway expression on his face as he remembered a simpler past. ‘But I was married and you were loyal. The moment passed and it never got as far as us having to blame the alcohol. But it was there. You wanted me, and, God knows, I wanted you. I always did fancy you, but somehow ended up with Maggie and I don’t regret that ‘cause, for a long time it worked, you know?’ Beth was crying silently and couldn’t say a word. Colin changed the subject again. Why am I here, Beth? Explain it to me, please.’

Beth’s mind was working furiously. Why shouldn’t she tell him? She could just pull up the chair to the side of his bed, open her mouth and not shut it again until she’d purged every foul word from her body. Just the thought of being able to tell somebody, anybody, every sordid detail from start to end was tempting. To actually say what she’d done, what she knew, what she’d been told by Maggie even, and the potential danger to Maggie if she got too involved, everything. She had nothing to lose. Colin was tied and captive. Either he was going to die in that room, in which case anything she said would go to the grave with him, or he was going to get out of there. If that was possible, then she was as good as done for, anyway. She’d had nobody to talk to. She ached to be able to get it all out. She didn’t want to make excuses, or cry, ‘Poor me,’ but just being able to talk would be wonderful. No matter how badly Colin reacted to her afterwards.

‘Colin I…’she stopped unable to continue.

‘Just tell me.’

‘I murdered someone,’ she blurted. Colin drew in a gasp of air sharply. He examined Beth’s expression to see if what she was saying was true, but her face was blank and her eyes dull beneath the tears that were still spilling down her cheeks.

‘Who was it? What happened? Are you going to kill me, too?’

She had got the first statement out. The rest of the words were fighting to tumble out of her mouth. She sighed deeply and got the chair and pulled it to the bed before sinking into it. ‘I’ll tell you Colin. I’ll tell you everything, but are you sure you’re up to it? You can sleep and I’ll come back later?’ She knew that if she left the room without saying anything more, that she never would.

Colin’s eyes were wide open and alert. He was ignoring any pain that he had and whereas five minutes earlier he looked so weary and on the verge of sleeping, now he was with it and eager to hear what she had to say.

‘Tell me.’

Beth began talking. She was at the speed dating event, meeting Marc and setting this whole mess in motion. She talked slowly and methodically, telling every detail just as it was. Colin interjected here and there with questions and passed comment at various points, such as telling Beth that Maggie would never have gone to the dating thing while she was with him and, what was that soft bloke she was with now, thinking of. When she got to the attempted rape, Colin said that she’d been stupid to go back to his house. As she progressed with her tale to Marc’s death Colin’s eyes grew wide and he more or less shut up. He was riveted to what Beth was saying and only butted in with questions when he didn’t understand something. She got to the meeting with Jennifer and her agreeing to Jennifer’s help in hiding the body.

‘You fucking idiot. Why didn’t you just go to the police?’

‘I was scared.’

‘There wasn’t a court in the country that would have convicted you after what he’d done.’

‘I’d just killed a man. I couldn’t think straight. I just went along with what she said.’

And so she’d continued. As she told him about hiding Marc’s body, Colin tried to sit up in the bed. ‘Ugh, he’s here? He’s in this room? You moved him, right? Oh dear God, tell me that I’m not sharing this nightmare with a fucking rotting corpse?’ Beth motioned with her eyes to the side of the room and the roll of carpet. Colin strained to see, but it was probably a blessing that his vision didn’t rotate that far. He began to struggle again. ‘Get me out of here. Fucking get me out of here, now. I’m not bed-sitting with that thing.’

‘Lie back down and relax. I don’t think he’s about to jump up and bite you.’ Colin ranted some more but eventually Beth continued her story. There was some heated debate when she got to the part where they’d robbed the old lady which led onto Colin’s attack. He paled when she told him how they’d had to perform Do-It-Yourself brain surgery on him to keep him alive.

‘My God, you drilled into my fucking brain with a rusty old tool? It’s a miracle I’m still alive. I can’t take all of this shit in, Beth. It’s too crazy.’

Beth continued talking ending with what Maggie had told her about Jennifer’s past. And then she stopped. They sat in silence for over a minute.

‘So let me get this straight. I’m only here because that little freak wanted to play a game at my expense? That’s it? That’s the sole motive for me being bonked on the bastard nut, having my fucking brain drilled and being tied up here? And you just went along with it, like some dumbstruck fucking sheep.’

‘Beth nodded.’

‘So, what happens next?’

‘I don’t know. I honestly don’t know.’ Beth hung her head at sat quietly, letting everything that had been said sink in. They talked in circles and round the houses. Colin took a moment to think and then reached for Beth’s hand. He seemed to have made a decision and looked into her eyes. ‘Let me go, Beth.’ He spoke calmly and steadily, never breaking eye contact with her. ‘Let me go and I promise you. I give you my solemn promise that I’ll go with you to Maggie’s. We’ll talk this whole mess through and then Maggie and I will go with you to the police and support you.’ Beth looked terrified and was shaking her head. ‘There’s no doubt about it, you’ve been a bloody fool. But with us standing alongside you it’s bound to help. We’ll make them see that you’ve been a victim of circumstance and then blackmail and manipulation.’

‘It won’t work,’ Beth cried and a fresh batch of tears sprung from her eyes. ‘I can’t go to prison. I know I deserve it. I know I killed a man and nearly killed you, too. I’ve been guilty of terrible things. But they can’t let me go.’ She wrapped her arms around her. ‘Even if they wanted to go easy on me, they would have to put me away for years just for this part, for keeping you here against your will. They’d have no alternative. There are guidelines.’

‘So let me go. Come with me. We can be at Maggie’s house in ten minutes. We’ll help you to go on the run.’

And what happens the second I undo your cuffs? You’ll overpower me and go straight to the police. And who could blame you? You’re just telling me what I want to hear. ’

‘I won’t. I promise I won’t. I swear to you that I can see how this all came about. I’ll help you in any way I can. Trust me, Beth.’

Beth laughed mirthlessly. ‘Colin, I’ve seen you swear to things on your children’s lives, and then turn out to not be telling the truth. How can I trust you?’

‘So you know me well. Doesn’t that say something? We have history, Beth. Let me help you.’

What he said made some sense. It was so tempting. One way or another she had the power to bring everything that had happened to a close. Maybe he would do everything he could to get her off. She knew that Maggie would fight her corner, at least, she hoped she would stand by her. But there was no getting away from the fact that she had a list of convictions as long as her arm. Nothing had changed. Colin was waving a juicy carrot and it would be so tempting to put her faith in him and let him just take over whichever way it went. She told him that she’d go away and think about it. He was crying out in pain now and he reluctantly agreed to an injection of morphine, ‘So what if it’s the lethal dose that kills me,’ he told Beth, ‘anything would be better than this. Please Beth, think on it hard and do the right thing, it’s not too late.’