Who's Afraid?
By Starfish Girl
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My writing class was given the task of writing metafiction, not sure if this is it!
You know and I know we all have to do whatever we can to keep body and soul together. Forgive me laughing I know you don’t believe that our kind have souls, so shall we say we all have to do whatever we can to keep the wolf from the door. A deep belly laugh for that!
My story is old, I assume you are acquainted with it? You shake your heads! It is a bedtime story told by caring parents to soothe their little brats to sleep. Now, now, do not look at me like that, I know they are not all brats, just the ones I have encountered. Quite tasty with chips and lashings of salt and vinegar. Mmm, can you hear my tummy rumbling, or is it just a hungry growl?
Now where was I? Ah, yes that age old story, passed down by word of mouth, written down in books and illustrated in sickening ways and then of course the films, the worst by that awful hack Disney who portrayed those minor actors as being cute. He didn’t know the half of it. They were not cute, they were monsters.
Yes, you little creeps I did say monsters. I didn’t think you’d be able to keep your dirty noses out of this. It always has to go your way doesn’t it? Why do I get the bad press. You caused the trouble, egged me on, got me angry, and hungry. What else could a feller do but take advantage of the situation. And we know that history is written by the victors. In the real world the strong defeat the weak.
And then what did YOU do you pink pipsqueaks. You informed the press. And not just any newspaper but a quality one, one that the great British public believe. Sadly its editors and reporters can’t spell and their grammar is appalling. I can hear those grunts, and see those pink tails twitching, laughing behind your trotters.
Dearest mothers and fathers, you who want to share my story, the true story, with your offspring, just spare a thought for the underdog, ME! That headline, the one that caused me to be caste out beyond the pale, made me a persona non grata, made me, please forgive the whisper, a laughing stock. Forever having to hide in the shadows.
That headline, hold me back or I’ll slaughter those ratty pink things, that headline said
BEWARE THE BIG, BAD WILF!
Squeaks, grunts, spine curdling howls and....
‘Are you comfy? Promise you’ll go to sleep after I’ve read you a story. It’s your favourite.
Once upon a time there were three pigs. Their mother sent them out into the world to make their own lives. Each of them decided to build a house. Can you see them in the picture, and can you see whose waiting and watching?
In unison the children reply,
‘It’s the big, bad, WILF.’
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Whose Afraid?
I think it should be "who's". Perhaps it comes out in the story.
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