In wanting so much to be loved

Cherry

By Steve

Thu, 10 Feb 2011
  • 1865 reads
8 comments
 

I find myself spoiling my kids, acting
ridiculous, simply being
not really trying to teach my kids
the rules of life.

I wanted my kids to hug me so hard
after every gift
but instead they want
something more and more
and I find myself shopping
for satisfaction.

i find myself wondering
when will they love me, when
they are seeing me as an agent
of toys
who needs to be manipulated.

more and more and more
and less time I actually spend with them
the more
i disappear from their lives
the more
i become an agent of
nothingness.

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Comments

Submitted by RachelPatricia on
Your love for your children is more than evident in this poem, Steve. I have a friend who is going through something similar to what I feel you are, and wish I you well. On a personal note, as a parent myself I can utterly empathise with stanza two - I see my children every day, yet sometimes feel as if I never see them at all. And trying to keep up with their fads and trends is a nightmare - you're not alone there, believe me. But I have found that the gifts I have made for them personally - teddies and cushions and the likes - are actually more well-loved and cared for than the hoards of cheaply made, yet highly expensive merchandise they so often tell me they simply 'need'. Cast iron proof that what comes from the heart stays in the heart, if you ask me, and this poem proves you're an agent of love and no less to them, no matter how few and far between your moments together are. I really enjoyed this poem, very moving and honest, and I hope things pick up for you soon. Rachel :)

Submitted by Steve on
Thank you so much Rachel. Your golden words really made my day.

 

Submitted by rjnewlyn on
Very true and well-put Rob

 

Submitted by seashore on
Loved this poem, heartfelt and honest.

Submitted by RachelPatricia on
Knowing they made yours made mine, Steve :) Congrats on the cherry, Rachel xx

Submitted by Cavalcader on
new Steve Congrats; on the cherry! I kmow exactly what you mean. as a mum even when there grown up the children, we can;t seem to compete sometimes in material costly things. I say just give hugs both ways.Mine says never buy, just give money, not the same as making doing buying surprises. Is it. Enjoyed the way you have put it all. Hit the nail right on the head. And I came from family 8. Times hard and different times move on now money and presents likes and dislikes and ideas, don't you think. Have a nice week-end. julie xx

Submitted by Highhat on
Almost missed this one. I promise you it gets better and when they are grown-up and come visiting without demands it's just perfect.At the moment they know exactly the love you stand for- believe me. Well put lines ;)Pia

Submitted by Luly Whisper on
When they grow up and have kids of their own to look after, then they may begin to realise how much you loved them and how hard you tried.