Jeffrey was good at plummeting

Jeffrey was good at plummeting. He fell from anything at any time, usually without good reason.

He was born when he plummeted from his mother's womb. She was mountaineering at the time and only the umbilical cord saved him from tumbling down a sheer cliff face.

The mountain rescue helicopter and the emergency maternity helicopter both arrived at the same time, and took turns to address the situation. Jeffrey's first taste of life was a swig of emergency brandy from the neck of the emergency St Bernard hovered down by the mountain rescue copter.

The brandy was so successful at comforting the screaming infant that the emergency maternity helicopter would soon adopt the policy of lowering brandy-bearing St Bernard dogs for all babies it attended, and later, a sausage dog with a bottle of gin around its neck for the mother.

At school Jeffrey would frequently rise to the tope of the class, seemingly just so that he could plummet back  to the bottom, usually on a Thursday afternoon with Mrs Figgs, who taught geography and interesting facts about rabbits.

When he reached his teens, Jeffrey would spend much of his time falling in and out of love.  He started frequently the local pub when he looked 18 and would spend his pocket money on falling down water. He would stagger home from the pub, falling as frequently as walking.

Leaving school, he was unable hold down any job, as he would fall over in the office, on the factory floor, or walking down the High Street. Once, when he was hired as an assistant at a superior London store, he fell down in front of Princess Anne, who was most gracious about the event.

"I'll never hold down a job," he complained to his friends. "Life is just one plummet after another."

Even as he spoke those words Jeffrey fell over, and his friends collapsed in laughter.

"You should go on the stage," somebody said.

Jeffrey went on the stage.

Jeffrey's falling over wasn't funny in itself, it was his attempts to avoid plummetation, combined with the sheer inevitability of the approaching plummet, that made the show such a hoot.

'Jeffrey avoids falling over' was a breakthrough show on the Edinburgh fringe, and led to a pilot, which proved a hit, and a subsequent Channel 4 sitcom, Plummeting Jeffrey.

Plummeting Jeffrey ran for three series, but was cancelled because of falling ratings.