Ulf and Sven and the sumo wrestler

Sven: (offstage) "Ulf. Ulf."

(enter Sven)

Sven: "There's sumo wrestling at the town hall tonight, Ulf. Do you want to come with me?"

Ulf: "I don't see the appeal of it, Sven. Two fat men pushing at each other all night. I can see that down the Three Brewers any day of the week."

Sven: "It's a very skilled form of wrestling, Ulf. Not like the kind you see on the telly, it takes years of training, it's a genuinely difficult sport."

Ulf: "A genuinely difficult sport that mostly involves two fat men pushing at each other."

Sven: "Come with me anyway, Ulf. You might enjoy it. You know I don't like going to these things on my own. I hate it when I have to talk to complete strangers all night. Or when nobody talks to me all night."

Ulf: "Of course I'll come Sven. I didn't say I wouldn't come. It's important that we support each other."

Sven: "Excellent. I will book tickets, Ulf. We wouldn't want to get there and they'd sold out."

Ulf: "Good idea, Sven."

Sven: "Ulf..." (long pause).

Ulf: "Yes Sven."

Sven: "When you say 'It's important that we support each other'." (pause). "There's something you want me to see with you isn't there, Ulf?"

Ulf: "Yes Sven. The local am dram soc are running a Gilbert and Sullivan season. There's a performance of the Pirates of Penzance at the creaky, cold, old church on Sunday night. Will you come with me Sven?"

Sven: "Of course, Ulf. We do everything together."