From time to time we have meetings at work, and I didn't expect anything to be any different with this meeting, but it was and its consequences affected quite a few people.
Most of us were there, two couldn't make it. Our boss started of the meeting by saying, she wants us all to “Write down on the paper in front of us, six things we don't like about each other - negative things!” So each of us had to write six things about each person in that room, we were all sat at a large oval table and could see each other clearly. I was disgusted! My face must have showed it for our boss, Jane then said to me, “That includes you Grace, you WILL do it!” I replied, “But I have nothing against anyone here, I get on with everyone” she repeated it, “You will do it!” James asked if info we wrote, would it be read out, and Jane informed us all that “None of what we wrote down would be read out, it would be for her eyes only.” She said “We must be 100% truthful.”
Jane said she will give us ten minutes to do this. I couldn't think of anything, and when I looked up from my blank sheet, Jane was looking at me so I wrote down, what I thought was the truth about two lovely people I work with, and that is they never delegate, but I don't see that as a 'fault' to me that was just their personality.
After we did that, Jane then asked us to write, six nice things – “Positive, we liked about each other,” that was easy for me, because it was a good hard-working team and we all got on well with each other.
When we had all finished, Jane asked us, who would like to know what was written about them, the majority said they would. I didn't want to know, and I reminded her she said it was confidential. She'd remembered but told me “You are outnumbered,” so Jane asked who would like to read out first what they thought Kim. So we all in turn said what we didn't like about Kim. Hers was OK, from the others in the group, Jane wasn't pleased with me, for I hadn't written anything, as I'd only written down two negatives and both were the same for my two favourites, where I work, they are Pat and Val.
Then it was the turn of Joy to hear what all thought of her, Joy said she, “Didn't want to know,” but Jane told her she had “No choice,” and nasty cruel things were said about this lovely, gentle woman, she was just like a lamb! Joy had joined the Company a year ago, but I have noticed that some new people, if they are not liked by the more 'established' ones in the team, they talk about you to Jane, and they never let them fit in. it dawned on me, that some of them may have conspired against Joy and she was really hurt by their negative comments mainly from Pat and Val.
Joy was sitting next to me and it was my turn. I REALLY didn't want to know, I am sensitive and take everything to heart, I know my weakness, I am easy to hold a grudge! And I never forget! And worse, I struggle to forgive . So it was in my best interest (and theirs) that I didn't know their thoughts! But Jane, betrayed me and the others in the team that day, again I didn't see the negatives as bad until, what Pat and Val had written about me! I was totally devastated! I was shell shocked. HOW two-faced can someone be! They were my two favourites, and all along they had, been two faced! I looked over at them both sitting next to each other and I could feel my heart beating with pure hate for them!
The meeting continued and the positives were read out but that was, a waste of time for the damages had been done! Talk about “Team Building!” it was soul destroying!! Towards the end of an awful meeting, Pat said to me, “She hoped our relationship hadn't been affected by what she had said!” I didn't reply, just looked at her in disgust. I had NO intention of ever talking to her again, for a small company that would be difficult for her!!
The meeting over and the majority of us went back home and just 5 - 6 remained. Poor Joy, she cried in the car park, to me as she spoke of her shock, others saw her and I said, “Don't cry, don't give them the satisfaction” but sweet, gentle Joy couldn't help it. I was too ANGRY to cry! For my heart is easy to turn to stone.....
My Mum when she retired she emigrated, so I sat down and wrote her 18 pages of A4 sized paper! Both sides! Poor Mum.
I had already booked off seven days holiday and the following day was the start of it, looking back, that was a good thing, for I think if I'd been at work, I would either have had a warning or the sack! For when I'm hurt, I either open my mouth and put my foot in it or I am silent! So I was at home stewing! Boy, was I angry! I hated that place, I hated Pat especially. For Pat was my favourite out of everyone there and yet I didn't even 'know' her, not really, until that day.
Something I try to do each morning is read the Bible. No way was I doing that the following morning! Nor had I planned to do so again! I hate hypocrites! And to me, I would be one if I read the Bible with SO much hate for Pat!! So the Bible stayed on the shelf and I stewed some more, reliving that awful meeting again and again. I told a good friend, who doesn't work with me nor does she know anyone who I work with, what Jane had done. My friend Heather was shocked that Jane had allowed for the opposite of 'team building' which in affect she had destroyed the team!
Three days passed since that awful day, and I decided to pick up the Bible off the shelf. I didn't want to read any of it, but one of my favourite stories in it Is, Daniel in the Lion's Den. I intend to keep myself detached, as I know the story well and have read it many times, so while all my family was still sound asleep, for I am very early riser, I opened it up on my lap and looked down onto its pages and this is what happened. It was like I was transported into its pages and the only way I can described it, was I saw a video! This was at the same time as reading the story, I saw in the video that I was Daniel, the King was the Boss and Pat and Val (and the others) were Daniels accusers trying to bring his downfall, trying to find fault when really there was no fault to find, for in the story Daniel hadn't done anything wrong, but his accusers, who didn't like him, changed the rules to make out he had now broken the law and they had changed it so it would now appear that Daniel was now the baddie, when it fact it was them all along! The King had always respected Daniel, and was thinking of promoting him, for he was honest and made no mistakes. WOW! All the time I was reading it, it was like I was watching a video and at the end of the story, when the baddies are found out to have twisted the truth, the video too came to an end! I was shocked! Nothing like this had ever happened to me before. I'd also had a new meaning to the story, current to me, living and up-to-date. But I was still hurt and still cried lots. I had been betrayed.
I wrote it as best as I could into my diary, the day I saw a video, as I read the Bible.
The following morning, still feeling devastated, I again decided to pick up the Bible and read another of my favourite stores again in the book of Daniel, it was the story of the three men who were ordered to worship the statue the King had made and if anyone didn't do it, they would be thrown into the furnace, as their enemies who had planned their downfall all along, watched. So as I looked down again on the Bible on my lap, I wondered if I would see a video again, and yes, as I started to read, suddenly I was transported into their time and I was one of the three who had been made out to be in the wrong, the King who has trusted his advisers, he too had been betrayed by them and not just me who was betrayed but the King too, I saw things differently, and not how I had perceived them before. There are a lot of evil people out there and their aim is to climb over you, to get to the top ,at any cost, even friendship! The group in the story of Daniel they seem to be good friends at first with the three men who they knew would be loyal to their God, but they knew they couldn't lay their hands on them for the King respected them, so they did this 'statue law' to get at them instead this way. I felt humbled that I felt the God of Heaven, who I wanted nothing to do with, was in His way speaking to little me. For in the scope of things I am little, but my hurt and betrayal was known to Him and he showed me He cared and was aware of it all. It didn't matter to Him that I didn't communicate with Him at this time, he just waited, and let me see things in a different light. So gradually my angry, hateful, heart of stone began to sort of melt. Sort of.....
Work rang me during my days off and said, “An emergency meet was to be held would I like to come to it?” I declined. I was very surprised to learn that Joy went. She said it was “Fantastic” I couldn't imagine any meeting there again to be “fantastic” for having been happy there, I now wanted to leave!
She rang me up excited and told me all about it, she said Jane said to them all, “The gossiping has to stop!!” So now she had realized all those going to her office with 'information' wasn't information at all, but gossip! People with nothing better to do! But cause disharmony and destruction. Jane asked each person in the room if they had any problem with Joy's work, “Red faced” they all in turn said, “No.” Joy felt justice was done and she was shown as a good person, and Jane saw Pat & Val in their true colours. Jane realized she had listened to them, instead of getting the facts direct from Joy herself.
I was informed by Joy, a few days later by text that Jane, Pat and Val had pre-planned the meeting solely, aimed at me and Joy! It didn't make sense at all.
I told Joy of my two video visions that I'd experienced as I read from the book of Daniel and the meanings I saw from them. She felt the second meeting for her was what she needed to hear to feel justified, and been justified within a two weeks she left! So those who don't accept the new people, had won again. And another good worker had gone.
I returned eight days later, she was there! I'd hoped she would have been gone by the time I arrived and I was 'me' not the person God would be pleased with but 'me' none the less. I ignored her and said “Hello” to everyone else. She came up to me, and said, “I hope we can still be friend” I raised my voice and said, “I have told my Mum I would never speak to you again as long as I live!” I carried on, “But this is good, we are “Talking!” Pat burst out crying, but I didn't care two hoots!!
She then went home as planned, and I worked with a lovely lady, in silence! I just said “Yes” and “No” to her questions. A few days later I saw Val, I didn't have much time for her either.
Jane was concerned that we were all now enemies and decided to see us in a meeting individually. For she had head that I was silent my first day back after seven days off, and that's not like me, for I always have something to say.
Very, very slowly my heart of stone, began to change and I decided one day, enough was enough. I wanted to show Pat that I had forgiven her, for we were the same as 'old times' having a good laugh and enjoying each others company. So I went to a lovely quaint little shop and chose a lovely coffee mug. There were two left of this lovely design, so like I have taught my kids, “Never have the one from the front, for if its a spray it would have been used by others or handled by others, so always take it from the back.” Well today there was only two, so I too the lovely designed coffee mug from the back, leaving the one that was in front of me, only when I went to pay, that I was informed it was “Buy one get one free” so I had one too.
Joy loved her coffee cup. I told her it was a peace offering. She said I didn't need to, but I did, I needed to..... for I know the real me.