Marooned in a Digital Maze

Woke up to a nightmare this morning. 

The Internet was not working. 

Tried using the very same Internet connection to find the problem. 

Bill not paid; service suspended. “Pay now through our website,” the message said. How to pay through the Internet when there was no Internet?

Never mind, I thought, I’ll use my handphone — different provider, different system. 

But here came the real nightmare: that line was also barred. Payment not made. 

A double fault. And one the family, still asleep, would never forgive, because their morning ablutions won’t work without a connected phone in their hands.

So off I went hunting for the nearest centre where I could make a payment. 

Ten kilometres away, hidden between a hundred eating places. No parking anywhere. A hundred restaurants packed with breakfast eaters. The only empty spaces were “Reserved” lots with Town Board warnings threatening locked wheels for anyone foolish enough to park there.

But a desperate man becomes creative. I parked in front of a restaurant which had a reserved parking lot, walked in, ordered a meal, and told them I’d be back shortly. 

Then I marched to the Internet provider, paid the bill, and returned to the restaurant. 

I almost walked away, but that would mean being a captive to technology and dishonest at the same time. I chose captivity.

So, I sat down, ate the meal I had strategically ordered, and walked out feeling absurdly triumphant — as if I had outsmarted the entire system for one morning.