Simon, The Friendly Spaceman 3: Simon And The Badger City
Once upon a time, on the purple planet of Peep, in a silver dome, lived Simon, a friendly spaceman with his robot cat Kay.
And one day, Simon was out treasure hunting using his metal detector to find metal objects buried underground.
"You see, I just wave the metal detector over the ground", he said to Kay, "And if it makes a bleeping noise then I know I've found something".
Kay wasn't very interested. Thats because, earlier, Simon's metal detector had found an old tin of robot cat food and Kay was far too busy scoffing it up to think about anything else.
"Miaow-bleep-bleep", said Kay, gobbling up robot cat food.
Just then, however, simons metal detector started to bleep again.
"Wow!", he exclaimed, "I've found something else. I wonder what it is".
But then, switching his space binoculars to their x-ray vision setting, Simon used them to look beneath the ground.
"I do hope its treasure", he said, excitedly, pointing the binoculars at the patch of ground that had caused the metal detector to beep.
To Simons amazement however, when he looked through the binoculars, what he saw was even stranger than buried treasure; infact it was a giant vehicle moving along a tunnel under the ground.
"My goodness", he said to Kay, "Can you believe it? Theres somekind underground vehicle and its right beneath us. I wonder where it came from and where its going?".
But then Simon had a very good idea,
"Lets follow it and see where it goes".
And so, slightly annoyed about having to abandon her tin of robot cat food, Kay followed Simon as he used his bleeping metal detector to follow the moving, underground vehicle.
But then, suddenly, the underground vehicle seemed to stop moving and so, putting his space binoculars to his eyes, Simon looked beneath the ground again.
As he did, however, Simon gave out an enormous gasp of astonishment for now, not only could he see the underground vehicle but a big underground city full of lots of strange looking houses and there were people moving about in the city, people with black and white stripy faces and long noses like badgers.
But then, as he was watching the badger people, from nearby he heard a noise like a door being opened and, looking round in the direction of the noise, Simon saw some kind of metal hatch opening in the ground and, crawling up out of the hatch, he saw lots of badger people start to emmerge.
"Hello!", he called to them waving, "My name is Simon, the friendly Spaceman".
Unfortunately, when the Badgermen saw him they only scowled angrilly and then one of them, who was wearing a peaked cap like an army captain, said,
"Look! A surface creature and he's holding some kind of weapon".
"Weapon?", asked Simon, surprised but then, realising that they were talking about his metal detector, he tried to explain to them, "Oh no. This isn't a weapon, its for finding things".
But the Badgermen wouldn't listen and then one of them raised some peculiar looking kind of gun and, as he pointed it at Simon, the Badgerman in the peaked cap ordered, "Mud him!".
Then, suddenly, to Simons surprise, out of the nozzle of the strange gun came a stream of mud that splattered Simons spacesuit; infact the mud covered him and his metal detector completely but, not only that, then the mud started to dry and harden like a clay pot so that, encased in the hardened mud, Simon couldn't move.
"Oh no", said Simon to Kay who, looking down, he saw had also been encased in quick drying mud, "What are we going to do now Kay?".
But then the Badgerman in the army captains hat gave another order.
"Pick them up", he said to his men, "We'll take them with us and show them to the king".
And then, helpless to do anything to stop them, Simon saw the Badgermen surround him and Kay and, seizing hold of them and lifting them up, the Badgermen then proceeded to carry them back down the hole from which they'd emmerged and along a long tunnel until, finally they entered into a large throne room with a golden ceiling and walls and, sitting upon a throne at one end of the room Simon saw a badgerman with a golden crown upon his head who he took to be the Badgermen's king.
"Your Majesty", said the Badgerman in the army captains hat, "We found this creature wandering around on the surface and he had somekind of strange weapon".
"But its not a weapon", Simon tried to explain again, "Its a detector, for finding things".
"Silence, surface creature", said the Badger king, "You are obviously dangerous. You shall be taken to my dungeons and locked up until I can decide what to do about you".
Then, waving a hand like a badger paw, the king commanded the other Badgermen,
"Take the creature away and lock him up".
Obeying his command, the other Badgermen lifted Simon and Kay up again, carrying them out of the throne room and along a long tunnel just as before but, this time, when they reemerged from the tunnel they entered a corridoor full of prison cells and then, opening up one of the cells, they carried him and Kay inside before, exiting the cell again, they slammed its door shut and, as one of the Badgermen locked the door with rattling keys, poking his badger like snout through the bars of the cell door, he said,
"You will remain here, surface creature. Until the King summons you again".
But then the Badgermen went off down the corridoor again and, looking round about his cell, Simon noticed that seated in the corner of the room opposite him was another Badgerman only this one was a prisoner like himself.
"Why are you in prison?", Simon asked him.
"Because I am Bertronious the 12th, the real king of Badger city", he replied, "The person on the throne is an impostor".
"Well, perhaps I could help you get your throne back", said Simon but then, looking down at the dry mud that encased him, added, "If I can just get free of this mud that I'm covered in".
"I'm sorry, my friend", he said, "I would free you from your mudshell but I'm afraid I have no tools to break it with".
Just then, however, they both heard a loud beeping noise coming from Simon.
"Thats my metal detector", he said.
"Metal detector?", asked Bertronious, confused.
"Yes. If its beeping then it means that there must be something metal buried under the floor of this cell", said Simon, "Perhaps its tools".
Bertronious bent down and started to dig with his badger paws.
"Fortunately, we badgermen are very good at digging", he said.
But then, suddenly, Bertronious stopped digging and looking into the hole he gasped with amazement.
"I don't believe it", he exclaimed.
"What is it?", asked Simon, "What have you found?".
Reaching into the hole, Bertronious took out a strange looking, long handled golden object.
"It is the legendary lost golden spade of Badger city", he said, "It was the spade that the cities founder Bertronious the first , my great ancestor, used to dig the cities foundations with and its supposed to have incredible magical power".
"Well then", said Simon, "Perhaps it can help free me and my cat Kay from this mud".
"Yes, ofcourse", said Bertronious, raising the golden spade and pointing it at the mud shells that encased Simon and his robot cat.
And when he did, from the end of the spade, to Simons astonishment, there came two long crackling bolts of blue lightning that, when they struck the mud shells, all at once made them shatter just like clay pots, falling to pieces.
"Thank goodness for that", said Simon, relieved to be able to move again.
But then Bertronious pointed the golden spade at the door of their cell and, another lightning bolt shooting out of it towards the door, it made the lock upon the door start to glow red with heat and then melt.
And it wasn't long before Simon, his Cat and Bertronious had burst free of their cell and were running down the corridoor that led to the kings throne room.
But then, the moment the king saw them enter the throne room, he called out to his badger soldiers,
"Badgermen! Arrest these escaped prisoners".
And, before they knew it, Simon and his friends were surrounded by Badgers with mud guns aimed at them.
"You can't stop us now", said Bertronious, waving the magical golden spade he was carrying, "We have the lost golden spade of Badger city".
The Badger King grinned.
"Ha! You have, have you?", he said, "Well not for long".
And reaching out a hand towards them the badger king, by some invisible magical force, made the golden spade leap out of the grasp of Bertronious and into his own.
"Oh no", said Simon, seeing the evil Badger king holding the spade.
"Ha! Ha!", said the King, "Now I will use this spade to turn you both to stone".
But then, just as he was saying this, one of the Badger kings soldiers shouted out,
"Look! Look at the Kings face. Its changing".
And, looking himself, Simon saw that it was true; somehow the power of the golden spade was making the King change.
"Why he's not a badger at all", said another of the Soldiers as the kings stripy badger face faded to reveal a horrible, green, pointy eared and long nosed face underneath, "He's some kind of goblin".
"Gahh!", said the Goblin impostor, realising that his true identity had been revealed, "None the less, I will still turn you to stone".
But then, before he could use the golden spade against Simon and Bertronious, suddenly, the Badger soldiers fired their mudguns at the goblin.
Dropping the golden spade, the goblin covered his face to protect it from mud but it was no use because, in just a minute the creature was covered in it from head to toe and then, the mud drying and setting instantly, the Goblin was trapped.
After that, Simon seized the crown from off of the Goblins head and placed it on the head of Bertronious.
"This is your real king", he said.
Then all the Badger soldiers bowed to their new king and, once the Goblin was locked away in a Badger dungeon, Simon, the friendly Spaceman and his Cat Kay returned to the surface of Planet Peep and the silver dome where they lived.
"Well", said Simon to his Cat Kay, putting his metal detector away in a cupboard, "We didn't find treasure but we certainly found an adventure".
"Miaow! Bleep - bleep", replied Kay, only half listening as he finished off his tin of robot cat food.